Tuesday, 6 January 2015

Sheffield: 100% Me

I always think of Sheffield as my 2nd hometown. And I only lived there for 1 year of my life.

And I think that's because when I moved to Sheffield. That's when I really became, me.

I like to think I'm a pretty outgoing person who's assured of who I am, and this isn't to say that I wasn't myself up until that point, I definitely was and have never to pretend I was anything else but me. But I just think, I didn't fully let out that every single 100% of me, just in case people didn't like it. So I kept a bit of that madness bottled up in a sparkly jar.

I've lived in the same place I grew up in all up until the point I left home and went to Uni.
When I left for Uni, I was absolutely terrified and scared as hell. My friends and family were all I knew, and the thought of not being around the same people that I'd been around for all my life, everyday as I had done, frankly scared the flower embroidered socks off of me.
I ended up depending and finding security in my boyfriend at the time, when I moved to Uni. He was familiar and comforting, and a person and an emotion that I knew. And to be honest, I didn't fully immerse myself in the whole uni life and experience in that time, because I was trying to hold on to THAT part of my life so much. Like a child who won't get off the swings.

Then when we broke up, I kind of did the same with my flatmates. I'd grown to know that and them, and they ended up being my new security blanket I guess.

So when I moved to Sheffield for my postgrad, it was all completely brand-spanking new. I was moving to a new city where I didn't know anyone. There was no-one I was emotionally attached to that I could depend on, and I was going to be moving into a flat with a bunch of strangers. 

And just like a kid who's scared of the 1st day of school, at 21 years old, I was getting ready for my 1st day, and worried I wasn't going to make any friends and have to eat lunch on my own everyday for a year, and hide in my room away from my flat full of people who didn't want to watch Friends with me. The horror.
I even took a ribbon bow out of my hair before I left the flat because I thought no-one would want to go talk to THAT girl.

A year later, it turns out that some people flipping love that girl.
Who'd have thunk it?

I ended up with a whole new bunch of friends who I know will be for life, lived with a bunch of people that went from going to weekly pub quizzes together, to chats until 2am in our kitchen, and met my kindred spirit of a best friend within the first 2 days.

I danced ridiculously at clubs. I let the cackle come out of my life.  I talked to people more honestly. And I was more honest with myself. There were some emotionally hiccups along the way, but by golly Miss.Molly, did they make me be more honest with myself when it came to my feelings when I came out the other side of the tunnel - if you're going to mess me around, then I sure as hell don't want to be around for you to mess with.

And when I watched Lousie from Sprinkle of Glitter talk about what Liverpool means to her, it's exactly the same.

When I think back at what I was like when I moved to Sheffield, to what I was like when I left, I wouldn't say I changed, but I just let more of myself come through. I came into 100% of myself.
And as my bestie said when I told her how much I love and miss Sheffield because of these reasons, she said:
"I think that city was just so suited to your personality, that you just shone."
I couldn't agree with her more.

Sheffield. I love you, you bonkers Northern beauty.
And you'll always have a special place in this equally as bonkers girl's heart.

Stay happy!
Until next time...

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