Sunday, 29 March 2015

An ode to dungarees

I hadn't laid my eyes on you since I was 6-years-old,
and after all these years, I wondered if I could be so bold,
to press 'proceed to checkout' on that Topshop site,
and at 2am while procrastinating, I thought I just might.

Breton stripe, lace crop tops and white tees,
I thought of all the things I could pair with thee,
Summertime frolics, drunken nights that were reckless,
All the possibilities, well, they were endless.

Comfort and effortless style, you're the whole deal,
And perfect for when I wake up late to meet friends for a meal.
You are perfect for occasions of all kinds,
Constantly making up new combinations in my mind.

But it wasn't enough, I started trying on more versions of you,
And before I knew it, I had bought another you in a different hue.
You're perfect in every form, and even as a skirt,
I'd forgotten about other clothes, what even is a shirt?

From babysitting to bars, from day to night,
I couldn't stop buckling up those straps, try as I might.
Long, short, denim, black,
I've fallen in love with you, and I can't go back.


Thursday, 12 March 2015

18 reasons why Britney is the queen

I know you've got your Yonces and Gagas, and hey, I love those ladies as much the next person - SLAY - but Miss.Britney Jean Spears is the pop princess of my sparkly heart. And here's why (as if you even need telling).

1.) Her midriff was the epitome of the 90s 
Just look at it - it's like a statue to be admired! And tbh, it ain't looking too shabby still to this day. Words from the lady herself: "If you want a hot body, you better work bitch."

2.) I pretended to be her in concert in my living room
Oh yeah. 8-year-old me totally pretended to have a Britney headset on, while strutting up and down that burgundy carpet, pointing out to the crowd with all my might.

She's a smooth slicker. The amount of time I spent copying the routines from her music video is silly. And also the amount of times I re-enact the routine from 'Crazy' if it comes on when I'm on a night out, is equally as ridiculous.
Girl can even bust out choreography 
 while lying down! Who needs to stand up anyway?

4.) Toxic is a flipping great pop song
Seatbelts on, and ready for take-off through a lesson in phenomenal pop with air hostess Brit.

5.) The metallic leather green top in 'Crazy'
Not gonna lie, still want this now. Not only is 'Crazy' my fave song from Ms.Spears, but it also features one of my fave outfits. Would defo wear this with some high-waisted black skinnies or a maxi skirt. YASS.

6.) And this hot pink and lace green combo in Overprotected
Brave move gurl, brave move. Not many people can pull off a distressed, shredded, button-up hot pink mini skirt, paired with a sheer, lace top with slitted sleeves, layered over a coral bra (that was a mouthful!), but Britney nails it with a shimmy along the way.

7.) She changed school uniforms for the rest of time.
Knee high sock and pigtail plaits were never the same again ever since the words 'Hit Me Baby One More Time' were uttered.

8.) I'd totally still wear this outfit to go on a carousel
In fact, I'd very much like most of Britney's outfits in my wardrobe please kthnxbye. Also, why am I not on carousels for more of my life?! That's surely a crime.

9.) Lucky was more close to home and poetic then she ever even knew
"If there's nothing missing in her life, then why do these tears come at night?"

10.) Slave 4 u era was a hazy, steamy dream of gemstones, smoky eyes and reptiles
BRB while I find a strip of fuschia to bandage around my body. I think I'll skip on the python though...

11.) Oh, and the hair!
How I longed for tousled beach waves, however, my Carmen Angel Curlz curling wand had other ideas. Mainly involving burnt fingers and knotty hair.

12.) She rocks sportswear 
While the rest of us mere mortals have our hair scraped up and slicked back by sweat, B-Swizzle looks like an absolute baller (see what I did there?)

13.) She pulls off a red PVC catsuit like no other
No further questions your honour.

14.) She's the master of sheer nude get-ups
When it comes to strategically placed sparkly gems, she's your girl. Sassy & nekkid (yes, naked) ain't an easy combo to pull off y'know?

15.) The Circus time period was full of magic and whimsy
So underrated, I mean srsly, it's Ms.Spears as a ringmaster in an arena of top hats and sprkly tricks - Cirque de WHO? 

16.) She's sassy as heck
Bitchez to one side pls.

Yeah yeah, we all remember the head shaving, and let's not talk about the umbrella incident. But hey, gurl had some tough times and was over-worked y'all. We all have our bad stints in life, and she got back up, worked her lil' tush off like only Britney knows how, and now, just look at her soar!

18.) She's the queen y'all!
Nuff' said.

Who's the pop princess of your life?

Stay happy!
Until next time,

12 Things I'd Tell Drunk Me

Dear drunk Amy:
Hey, it's sober Amy here! Hope you're doing well - did you ever book that trip to Tunisia that you planned to? Anyway, I just wanted to have a little chat, cus I wish we could both just get along and play nice! Sure, we work together better and better with every night out or bottle of wine, but I think it's time we had a bit of a team talk. So here's some things and pieces of advice I want to address to you that you'll hopefully take on board while you down your next Glitterbomb....

1.) Don’t roll home still singing at the top of your lungs in the early hours of the morning
Yes, I know you had a great night and just want it to carry on by singing Call Me Maybe/Arctic Monkeys/No Diggity. But your poor neighbours! And as if the volume wasn't bad enough, just FYI, you ain't no Mariah Carey.

2.) Whatever you do, DON'T throw up in the taxi home
It's only happened once, but dear god was it embarrassing and 50 shades of gross. Don't worry, it happens to the best of us, just let's not have a repeated episode of it yeah?

3.) Stop attempting to make yummy potato goods when you get in at 3am

I know all you want is wedges, cheesy jacket potatoes and to gorge on a bowl of mash - but just get chips at the kebab shop like a normal person k? It’ll save the confusion and mess of half peeled spuds and herb-sprinkled baking trays the next morning. 

Not to mention it’s highly dangerous to mix alcohol with knives…

4.) Stop! after the 3rd tequila shot
You love tequila! You genuinely do, with or without lemon and salt - shocking I know - and others just don't understand the delicate love and bond you have and share. 
But it's a fine line to whether it loves you back or not. Up to 3 tequilas makes you as happy Pharrell Williams in a hat, but any more than that, and it ain't pretty. Trust me.

5.)Step away from your phone!
Not only are you a chronic drunk-texter, but you've evolved into a pretty bad drunk-snapchatter. I get it, you wish that that friend you love was here with you, but they probs don't appreciate having their phone go off at 4am with you screaming down the other end of it. And don't even get me started about the boys you decide to contact in your gin-fuelled drunken haze. Bad decisions all round. 

6.) Free champagne doesn't mean pour as much down your throat as you can
Cus limits and shit. Remember when dad had to haul his grown-ass daughter to bed cause she couldn't get into it? Yeah, well, let's not have that happen ever again....

7.) You need to chill the fuck out with your facial expressions 
Others have been known to say you have the facial expressions that of a selection of emoticons and emojis. And I feel ya girl, you're just having a real fun time, and can't contain that and it overflows onto your face (and there's also a little big of you that feels you're being a bit Cara Delevigne with your wacky poses). But just, calm it a lil' bit. Your Facebook feed will thank you for it.

8.) Back the hell away from that cigarette
You, Amy WY Lo, are a terrible social smoker. One drink down your throat and you're on a hunt for a smoke like a game of Where's Wally. You know it's terrible for you. You judge dad that he used to be like a chimney. You hate it! So just stop it, k?

9.) Vodka jellies are always a lot more tricky to shot that you think
You've had a few drinks, gotten a bit cocky, and before you know it, you've accepted a challenge and am taking part in a race of downing them. What you forget is that those wibbly-wobbly creatures are stuck in there pretty darn good, and you end up scraping that sucker out with your tongue like a spotty teen having their first kiss.
Oh, and don't think vodka gummi bears are just fun and games either. They're lethal lil' buggers.

10.) Please don’t lose your keys
You're pretty good with your belongings, not an ID even misplaced - and I know, I know, the keys things only happened that one time. And that lovely girl picked them up, and found you to return them to you! (Faith in humanity restored). But it'll just save you all the hassle of trying to crack your door down with a credit card, or the shame of having to ask your landlord for a spare key at silly o' clock.

11.) Oh, on the issue of locks, don't lock yourself in the bathroom!
You've gone to brush your teeth, or like that time where you felt like you might throw up, so you took yourself to the bathroom - good job btw - but maybe just keep the door shut and unlocked. Cus you've fallen asleep before, and then your housemates think something's to you while banging on the door, when all it is is that you've curled up on the rug with a toothbrush hanging out of your mouth.

12.) Kudos on letting your friends know how much you bloomin' love them
You've had a bit of rum and am feeling a bit melty and rather happy - evenmore so than usual - and you'll know doubt grab your friends towards you for a cuddle and a kiss, and profess your love and appreciation of them and the friendship you share. Which is all true as gold! But tbh, you'd probs be doing the same if you were sober anyway, cus we're both just soppy motherfuckers like that. 

Do you have any of these bad drunk traits?! I know I'm not the only one!

Stay happy!
Until next time,


Tuesday, 10 March 2015

Week by Numbers: dreams, drinks & braids

How is it already March!? Before you know it, we'll be sipping Pimms in beer gardens and getting awkward tan lines.

7 favourites...
1.) This is my visual update/diary/pretentious monthly scrapbook a la Jack Howard for the past month. It's not the most cinematic, deep or has the most meaningful narrative to it, but I like it as a fun snapshot of that month of my life.

2.) I met up with my homegirl Kim at The Breakfast Club - standard - and after guzzling down pulled pork and burgers, she whispered a secret password to the waiter. Before I knew it, I was clutching onto my glass of wine, being whisked through the kitchen and down into a secret bar. Who knew there was a speakeasy so close by! Cue a night of rum and laughing so much that your cheeks hurt. 

3.) I'm an animal lover, and when it comes to dogs and puppies, I lose all sense of adult sensibility. So unsurprisingly, when I stumbled onto the show 'Supervet' on 4od, it bought me out in waves of coo-ing and tears. This genius works some hard-core Iron Man magic. 

4.) I don't ever really do much with my hair, firstly because there's just too much for me to handle, and secondly, I'm just plain lazy. But I tried something new the other day, and I don't know how I ever lived without it! 2 pigtails plaited and pinned up for some serious Scadanavain vibes, and all in a flash. I can feel my look getting chic-er by ever twist of a braid.

5.) My new music obsession is Jack Garratt. If you're into James Blake and The XX kinda vibes, then you'll dig this dude. 

6.) I've been re-reading 'Bridget Jones' Diary' in preparation of a much delayed start of the 3rd installment. What I've gathered is that, a.) I sometimes share the same thoguhts as her, but I'm on the opposite end of the 20s spectrum, so I need to chill the fuck out. And b.), she talks about how she keeps dialling 1471 to see if the person she's dating has called. Oh, if only she knew the trail and tribulations of iMessage time stamps and 'last-seen's on WhatsApp.

7.) A perfect end to the week came in the form of this bag. It was love at first sight, and before I knew it, I was holding it in my arms as I rode the tube home. Hey, if I can't be Ariel due to my lack of fins and hair that slays, then this is the perfect way to channel my inner mermaid on a daily basis.

3 thoughts...
"Omg, what is little ol' me doing sat here....I'm so out of my depth!"
"Can I justify spending money on a seashell bag? *tries it on and looks in the mirror* Yes. Yes I definitely can."

1 outfit...
I had an interview for basically my dream job the other day. So I went dressed as a smart-n-sassy me, topped off with a metallic blue scrunchie complete with bunny ears, as a sort of 'please-hire-me-i'm-the-perfect-girl-for-the-job!' kind of good luck accesory.
top:ASOS, skirt:ASOS, jacket:Urban Code, bag:Modula, scrunchie:Topshop

Stay happy!
Until next time,

Tuesday, 3 March 2015

February Chill

February has been a cold and harsh mistress. The cold has played havoc to my skin and the wind has caused some right run-ins to my hair with my face. And that's just in lil' ol' England, nevermind Prague, where it's minus temperatures. So when it came to a quick get-away there, I packed enough polonecks to give the 90s a run for their money.
Red lips and monochrome stripes - C'est chic, non?! 

But what does one do when it's the perfect mix of refreshingly chilly with glorious sunshine? Whack out your Ray Bans son.
 Navy polo neck, burgundy corduroy skirt and a mustard coat...and not a pastel colour in sight! - where's the real Amy and what have you done to her?! All that's remained is a majestic heart-shaped belt.
This month hasn't just been chilled in terms of temperature, but also when it comes to dressing. Dress-down denim with golden glimpses of longline necklaces is acceptable all day, everyday.
See? Chilled as an Ice Queen. Or a shimmering mermaid, which is what these high-tops are. Ugh, I love them love them love them.
But you know what I love less? Working out until you're a hot mess. But you may as well wear kawaii kit while doing so. *insert girl emoji with one hand know the one I mean*

Stay happy!
Until next time,