Twenty Five

Last week, I turned the grand age of 25.

It may be unsurprising to know that I didn't wake up that morning with new-found wisdom and the answers to the questions of life. 

Instead, I woke covered in sequins with a nice hangover all wrapped up in a bow.

I still have the same ridiculous childlike outlook to life and optimism that sometimes gets the better of me.  

But an hour before the clock struck midnight on my birthday, I was harping on about how content and happy I was this birthday, more so than I can remember being before. Despite my life still pretty up-in-air and me still not having a clue what I'm doing. 

(It might've been the cocktails talking, but let's go with a new-found epiphany from my mid-twenties).

When I was a teen, I had such an idea of how my life was going to be like when I was well in my 20s, but when 15-year-old me didn't know was that in actual fact, I didn't know shit...

F R I E N D S

What 15-year-old Amy thought...

After a school life of having a pretty big friendship circle, it was like I was part of one big gang of guys and girls. And I was. It was the best as a teen. You always had someone you knew someone who'd share a bottle of Apple Sourz with at pre-drinks, or who would help you put fake tan on your back in a streaky fashion. Everyday in the 6th form common room was like one great, big party, and every weekend it actually was, and of the fancy dress variety in fact. And this will only continue and grow as I grow up. Imma have hundreds and hundreds of friends y'all.

What my 25-year-old life is actually like...

Those friends are still friends and we care about each other to the moon and back (you can be damn sure if someone had something less-than-nice to say about one of them, then my hoops would be whipped off and I would give my best Rocky impression...before inevitably falling to the ground.)

While the day-to-day circle may have grown smaller, the group who I know has my back and would be there for me come what may, well, that's only grown from strength to strength.
It's cliche, but it is quality, not quantity. 

You may not see some friends for weeks and months on end, but when you do, you pick up from where you left off with no problems. And the ones you see all the time, while you've not grown up together, you've grown together, and probably know you better than you do yourself. 

R E S P O N S I B I L I T I E S

What 15-year-old Amy thought...

Longing for the day where homework would be a thing of a that past and I could stop saving up loose change as I'll be working 9 to 5 and have all the money in the world to splurge on whatever the hell I want. I'd buy designer shoes, jet off to private islands, and no-one can tell me I can't cus there'll be no-one telling me what to do with my life, YAY.

What my 25-year-old life is actually like...

My GOD how I wish I had someone to sort out my life. Boring life admin stuff like washing, ironing and bills just don't come into account when you think about what being an adult is like when you're younger. Not to even mention all the emotional shit like work/life balance and those pesky things like feelings. Some days, it would just be fab if someone could just take care of it ALL, while I just curled up into a teenage ball and binged on everything the internet has to offer.

B O Y S

What 15-year-old Amy thought...

By the time I'm in my twenties, that's like so old. I'll have gone through all the rubbish boys and found y'know, like, THE ONE, and live happily after together. Sunday lunches with the in-laws, pet puppies galore and domesticated housewife to the max. 

What my 25-year-old life is actually like...

Oh HELL no. I am so not ready for any of that marriage malarky. I have so much more I want to do, and while it's fun having a partner-in-crime for the ride, I'm not ready to not be completely selfish yet. I know someday it'll all just feel, RIGHT. But that day keeps gets pushed further and further back the more I live and love my life.

There's been highs and quite a few lows in between. But all the tears, hours crying along to Adele, heart aches and heart breaks are worth it for the connections, memories, laughter, adventures and sparks. It sometimes seems like I'm no closer to finding that special gooseberry, but I know I am. I used to think I knew exactly the kind of person I want to be with,  but all the shit dates and awful break-ups also make me realise what I don't want. And that's just as important. Why should you settle for seconds best when you should always put yourself, first. 

H O U S E 

What 15-year-old Amy thought...

One of those pastel coloured town houses in West Kensington in London please! That would be fabulous and I'll decorate it all in Cath Kidston and have tea parties all the bloody time. It'll be great.

What my 25-year-old life is actually like...

So yeah, there's these thing called mortgages? And the housing market is a shambles, which is a nice little treat for us millenials eh?! But shared houses means drinking buddies for nights out, having someone to stroke your hair while you throw up at 3am, and discovering some gems who become friends for life, who I would've never met if you used all that money I don't have, to splash on a house to live on my own. (Also, the kitsch Cath Kidston phase came and went pretty quickly.)

F A S H I O N

What 15-year-old Amy thought...

Vogue, eat your heart out. I'll be strutting into the office with the highest of heels on, looking swish with the newest IT bag, and ALL the designer gear. I'll be covered in all the brands and labels, just you wait and see, I'll be chic af.

What my 25-year-old life is actually like...

Pricey Von Dutch caps and having Juicy written across your butt weren't all it's cracked up to be. And I'm so thankful I didn't spend a whole load of £££ on a rainbow monogrammed Louis Vuitton bag,  just because Paris Hilton had one.

Buying stuff just cus of celebrities, is just not cool. And hey, look! I've only gone and developed my own individual style that is completely ridiculous and relates to me, and me only.

(And my god, do I bloody own those prints and pastels, topped off with fluff and fun.)

W O R K

What 15-year-old Amy thought...

Picture Ugly Betty meets The Devil Wear Prada. I'd turn up to work in the most stylish stuff, cus, well, I would've designed them myself. Everyone around the world will be wearing my work, and of course I will have done this all before I'm 30, DUH. I'll be the next Elie Saab before I know it.

What my 25-year-old life is actually like...

A degree studying fashion design drove me NUTS. Lord knows I couldn't spend a career in it. I bloody love clothes but I nearly fell out of love with them (and that would've just been a crime.) I'll leave it to the professionals and just admire from afar thanks. And who knew that all those mad stories I used to make up and write, and the number of years of diary writing, would lead me to a job in writing eh? Still trying to find my exact place but I'm having a hell of a time on the way.

F A M I L Y

What 15-year-old Amy thought...

"Oh my GOD, why is Dad being SO unfair?! He just doesn't GET me at all!" is what I screamed on a nightly basis as I slammed my door with my Fall Out Boy poster stuck onto it. My parents just don't understand me and they're just there to ruin my life. If they weren't my parents, I wouldn't even want to spend any time with them! I CAN'T WAIT TO MOVE OUT!

What my 25-year-old life is actually like...

Oh Amy. Amy, amy, amy. If only you knew how much you'd miss Mama and Pops when you move away to uni. Now, they're over 100 miles away when all you wish for is a cuddle off them at the end of an utterly shit day. I realised they're not just my parents, they're actual human beings who've lived a hell of a lot of life and are only looking out for me. They're caring, ambitious, hilarious and are filled with love, and no words would ever be enough to describe the love I have for them.

My brothers and I are closer than ever, the addition of sister-in-laws are a joy and I never knew how much unconditional love I could have for the tiny humans that are my nephew and nieces. Being an Aunty is THE best deal cus you get to have maximum fun with minimum responsibility!

When I was younger, I couldn't wait to be older.
Now, I'd love it just to slow down - just a tad - so I can enjoy and savour every moment and memory.

The past 25 years have been emotional, ecstatic and amazing.
I've learnt a hell of a lot about myself, life, and what I want from it.
And I can only imagine what the next 25 will bring.

Until next time...

A.x

Month by Numbers: fireworks & festivities

7 favourites...

1.) Never mind winter is coming Jon Snow, winter is well and truly here. And yes that means i'm shivering to deathwhile waiting for my train (but then immediately boiling when i get on it), but it also means steaming hot drinks, hibernating under blanket and all the autumnal boots, hats and dark lipsticks that you could wish for.

2.) One of my favourite nights of the year is Bonfire Night. It's just an everning to feel all snuggled up and always feels like  the start of the festive season with the cold air, massive scarves and mulled wine. And this year, I made my way up north to Manchester and was huddled around the bonfire with some of my favourite girls, drinking mulled wine and 'ooh-ing' and 'ahh-ing' at al lthe pretty bonfires. We spent the whole weekend basically doing nothing nad it was bliss. We chatted the world to rights on everythng from ironing and feminism, to fluffy jumpers and our hopes and dreams, all while sipping on Baileys hot chocolate covered in a mountain of marshmallows. YUM.

3.) Someone came into my life as if it was a British romcom from the 90s starring Hugh Grant. We met on the tube (I KNOW) and things were ticking along. I knew he wasn't for life, but he was nice enough and our time spent together was fun enough for, well, now. I'm an eternal optimist and forever want to see the best in people and give them the benefit of the doubt. But sadly, this came person proved me and my glass-half-full nature wrong and came out of it as soon as they came in. I can forgive busy schedules, I can forgive you not a fan of my emojis, but i can't forgive rude-ness. Nop. Boy, BYE.

Thanks @bellaitaliarestaurants for teaching me how to make my favourite food: fresh blooming pasta! Also thanks for feeding me ALL the carbs - I'm one happy & full lil piggy 🍝🐽🇭🇺 #cooking #foodstagram #instafood #italian #foodporn #food #pasta #instavid #video #collage #london #vsco #vscocam

A video posted by Amy Lo 🐚 (@amylo92) on Nov 10, 2016 at 5:22am PST

4.) There are few things in life that I love more than food and carbs in particular. So when Bella Italia asked me if I wanted to taste their new menu and also learn to cook some of the dishes and how to make fresh pasta myself, I was there quicker than Wilde E.Coyote trying to catch Road Runner. I rolled out dough, tossed some pasta and ate so much delicious Italian food, puddings and wine that I almost needed to be rolled home.

5.) What better way to get into the festive spirit than ice skating outside the tower of London! but of course, because it's England, it's never long until it rains and ruins all the fun. But fear not, when the ice rink turns into a slippery hazard, there's an ice bar and a tour of the Tower to indulge in. Learning abotu the Tower of London made me feel like I was on a school and also like I know nothing about the city I live in as I soaked up and was equally creeped out and fascinated by all the history. 

6.) I went to a few screenings this month which including the magical Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them and the fabulous E! series on Mariah Carey. But a big tick in my book for very different reasons, but the fact that at the Mariah screening there were diva-appropriate pink cocktails and a gold glittery photobooth that had a wind machine kinda was just like being in a diva playground.

One of the most talented, humble & fun people I've seen live. It was a pleasure dancing along to you @jackgarratt 💃🏻🎉🎸 #london #livemusic #live #gig #confetti #lights #music #collage #video #instavid #videocollage #vsco #vscocam

A video posted by Amy Lo 🐚 (@amylo92) on Nov 24, 2016 at 12:24am PST

7.) Jack Garratt is some kind of musical genius. Him, drums, a sound baord and some back up singers and it was was of the most engaging gigs I've been to. And the best thing is despite absolutely killing it on the scene, he's still got so much genuine excitment, creativity and adorable disbelief that he gets to do what he gets to do as living, and I think we can all afford to be a bit more Jack Garratt in our jobs.

5 tweets...
1.) In an attempt to drown my sorrows, I went to the vending machine & it dished out 2 of my selected treat. World's not COMPLETELY broken then
2.) Reading stories w/my nephew this moring & he stopped to say 'Amy, I'm having fun with you!' HEART. MELTED.

3.) When you see a photo of young Trump & have the awful realisation that your ex looks like him (key word here being EX )

4.) I'm singing Colours of the Wind at the top of my lungs while dancing around my room in my underwear....what about you?

5.) "The pièce de résistance was the hash brown" - an actual thing I said. (And I meant it. It was a pork belly & hash brown quesillda guys!)

3 songs....
1.)  Sexual - Neiked ft.Dyo

Not to get TMI but this song is as it suggests, a lil bit sexual. ALSO, how does she hit those high notes? Believe me, I've tried in the shower, and I can tell you it does NOT sound the same.

2.) Pour some sugar on me - Def Leppard


For some reason I was a bit obsessed with this song when I was about 15 and although I'm not sure why, my god do I applaud teenage me. It makes me want to do knee slides on a bar countertop in a Coyote Ugly style, and whips my hair into a backcombed mess.

3.) After the afterparty - Charli XCX

This is kinda a bit Gwen Stefani - Hollaback Girl, as in you can imagine it being played at some prom and everyone chanting along with it. And I enjoy that bubblegum pop goodness immensely.

Until next time,

A.x

Month by Numbers: N64, night moves & namaste

7 favourites...

1.) October has basically been intervals os being jam-packed busy with plans, and then being a lazy coach potato. One day i might get the perfect balance instead of going from one extreme to another, but for now, this is what my life looks like.

2.) What better way to spend get over the hump in the middle of the week than go bake the biggest cake you ever did see, and being taught to do so by a past Bake-Off winner. It felt my ateries clogging up with diabetes as I was making the chocolate and sweets covered doubled up monster, but my-god was it worth it. Drinking bubbly and icing chocolate fingers on a cake with your buddy. What a great British evening eh!

3.) For my birthday, my flatmates got this yoga-loving bear a trip to do yoga while overlooking the city of London at the top of the Shard. So at the crack of dawn, I headed out into a crisp and quiet central London and my god, the early morning was more than worth it. I spent an hour just contemplating the big ol' city while stretching every limb. I left feeling refreshed and relaxed - just the R&R this bear needed in the midst of the London hubbub.

4.) Growing up with 2 older brothers meant I was a bit of a game freak. You might not of guessed what with the fluffy lilac bag and sparkly skirts, but throw a Nintendo controller my way and i'm a happy bunny. So a bar where you can play arcade and videos games - old and new - until your heart's content? I'm running there quicker than a a blue shell flying through Mario Kart. And with such a fab place, it was hardly surprising that it was busy and filled to the brim with people having a ball. So when it came to time for me and my friend Thea wanting to play some old school N64, we made some gaming buddies. They scoffed with pity as they offered me the character of Princess Peach and picked 50cc for our benefit. Cue me whopping their asses on Mario Kart and Thea thrashing them on SNES Street Fighter. If that isn't girl power, well, then I don't know what is.

5.) And now onto night out of a completely different calibre. For my gorgeous friend Chez's birthday. I went for the nicest pre-drinks of sushi and Prosecco (come a long way since the days of Apple Sourz and Dominoes!) before heading to Piano Works which was THE most fun! With a live piano band taking centre stage, there's no set list, the crowd hopped up on tequila shots and beer request all the songs and they just kill it each and every single time. Form Outkast and Gangsta's Paradise to All About That Bass and Spice Girls and everyone is just having a ball.

6.) Having a couple of days of holiday left to use up at work, I used up some for a long weekend to go back home for some peace and quiet from the city life. Life and work and all that's in between is so damn tiring - being an adult is tough y'all! So sometimes you just need to go back to your hometown, to your parents and just sleep, be fed and spend afternoons chasing your nephew from a field of pumpkins. Feel like a new woman after that long weekend! That is, until I got back to London and hopped on the tube...

7.) I love a theme so it's unsurprising that I love Halloween. Our house was covered in cobwebs, we were splattering blood (fake, of course) all over my flatmate's wedding dress ("Zombie bride? An ex-wife" - name that film!) After going my fave babe Ariel fora friend's birthday before, i've been desperate to go as Ursula for Halloween and finally did it. There was purple in my face, white in my hair and gin in my tummy. Which I'm pretty sure is why I felt like a poor unfortunate soul the next morning...

5 tweets...

1.) Life as the youngest person in the office: my editor just asked me if I new what a jukebox was

2.) Sat here with my carrots and hummus before sacking that in and cutting myself a fuck-off massive slice of cake
3.) People need to go on more 'mate-dates' cus @delphinechui & I went from social media buddies to IRL friends  #LevelUp 
4.) Just had Diet Coke moment: Hot moving guy came into our female filled office. Tried to be cool, strut by. Fell into a door intstead..
5.) Haven't seen my aunt for a while and she just said 'have you said thank you to your mum & dad for making you so beautiful?...WHAT?!? 

3 songs...

1.) I am a fully-fledged feminist through and through so when H&M released this bomb-dope ad showing what it REALLY means to be a lady, i was all on board. Being a lady doesn’t just mean swanning around mansions and swishing their dresses in fields. They also get on the tube and love to chow down on meals.  Oh, and that babe that is Lion Babe’s cover of a Tom Jones classic encompasses this perfectly. 

2.) Little Mix are one of the only and best girl bands around at the moment. Watching them perform and sing sassy lil’ songs as a something makes me feel the same kind of girl power that  I felt when I was throwing peace signs to Spice Girls in my bedroom. And when it comes to break-up songs, there’s the ones that you just want to sob to as you drown in your bottle of wine, but after that, you need something feisty and this is that. When you need to say to your ex, ‘yeah it’s nice what we had and yeah i was sad for a bit, but i’m so much better than ok now so cheers for that.’

3.) This is just one of those songs that make you want to ditch just plain ol’ walking all together and stut like you own the place. I find a new one of these songs ever so often, but sadly my grounds for strutting around is just the the northern line on the London underground, which usually is accompanied with mice , At lease this song makes it feel more glam than that eh? 

Month by Numbers: Ibiza heat

7 favourites...

1.) At the very beginning of this month, I headed to Ibiza and it was the perfect remedy that came at the most perfect time. After what were some of the worst months of my life, I got to get away to a sunny paradise with some of my favourite people. We danced, we did nothing on the beach and our meals consisted mostly of sangria and gelato. 

This is uber-melty, but there was one point on the holiday where we were on one of the most beautiful beaches in the world (6th in fact FYI) and I went for a swim on my own in the bluest, most crystal clear water I've seen in my life. And there was not a worry or thought in my mind and before I know it, I'd swam so far out, I was just on my own and I just felt truly content for the first time in ages. After all that's happened this year, I was just floating there thinking 'You know what? It's really not all that shit. Life's OK. I'm OK.'


2.) After coming back from Ibiza tanned and filled with tequila, I spent a whole weekend with my bestie and a bunch of boys from Sheffield who I have a blast with every time I see them. Which would be once. I've met them once before. One weekend last year, I spent a weekend with my BBF, and her boyfriend had some uni friends stay. We all ended up hanging out all weekend and becoming friends - isn't that just the sweetest story you ever did hear? And this time, we drank a lot, and played a lot of games (because, you know, we're really cool like that)


3.) Sadly, all those drinks and games means a lack of sleep and an increased chance of feeling pretty rubbish. Probably not the best combo before you do a 5K charity run for Cancer Research. BUT, even after 5 hours sleep and being low-key hanging, I laced up my trainers, travelled from North to South London and threw myself (literally) into the mud that is the Pretty Muddy 5K. I'm not even joking, there was mud EVERYWHERE. In places where mud should never, ever be. But we did it! We raised over £350 for an amazing cause, which was made even more amazing after receiving the news that my no.1 gal Mama Lo had been given the all clear from the Big C after showing it who's boss, just like we all knew she would. 

4.) Ah the Bake-Off. It'll come as no surprise that I'm a massive Bake-Off fan. In fact, last year, me and my flatmate baked something each week to go the theme of said week. I love how wholesome it is. I love the cheeky innuendos. I love the characters on it. I love Mary Berry. I love how a whole nation is gripped by a show about cakes and soggy bottoms. And then, it all came tumbling down all so suddenly! First, it was moving to Channel 4. Then the hilarious Mel & Sue were leaving. And the final blow, the Queen herself Mary Berry bowed out. This current series of the Bake-Off is the last one as we know it, and I am not emotionally prepared for that guys.


5.) Hi, my name's Amy and I've become obsessed with pin badges. They're sassy and cute and creative and teeny tiny and up my accessorises game in a big way. But sadly, they're also starting to drain my bank account in a big way too.

6.) And speaking of little things, I've been doing more little gestures. I know what a heartwarming surprise it is when you get or hear something you really didn't expect to. So I've been writing postcards left, right and centre for my friends. To cheer them up, to encourage them, to thank them, and just to say hello. And I'm hoping they've loved the sentiment as much as I've loved sending them. 


7.) A mixture of holiday blues and that back-to-school slump of September meant that I felt like I was in need of about 50 hours sleep, 50 cups of tea and cuddles with 50 puppies. Fortunately, one of my fave babes told me to come up North where she could provide me with lie-ins, all the teas I could ever ask for and 1 adorable puppy. She even threw in a 10-course fancy and fabulous Italian dinner and some dancing as well. She knows the way to my heart.

5 tweets...
1.) Catching up on #GBBO on the train. Man asleep next to me woke up as I let out an audible gasp at someone forgetting to turn on their oven
2.) Playing Heads Up at the pub & Vera Wang came up. Me: designer makes lovely wedding dresses!  Lads: surname sounds like a DICK 
3.) Something in my lad of washing has made all my clothes glittery...whilst I don't love it, I don't hate it either
4.) Let's just get this out of the way. Thing I don't like that everything else loves: avocado, Idris Elba, chocolate orange & salted caramel..
5.) Can never remember how to do an accented 'e' on my keyboard. Always end up googling Beyoncé and copy & paste. PROFESSIONAL JOURNO Y'ALL 

3 songs...

1.) Tove Lo - Cool Girl

This makes me feel like a genuine cool girl, no matter how much I may not be. If you see you strutting down the street and swooshing my hair, 90% certain this is what's playing on my headphones.

2.) Little Mix - Move

I feel in love with this song with my BBF 2 years ago at uni, and even now, it still makes me dance like I wish I was in a girl band. Sass-central y'all

3.) Kanye West - Fast

If the other 2 songs make me feel like feisty and cool independent women, this song makes me feel tough and ready to box about 10 rounds in the ring. Neither of which I am, but the bass lines and auto-tuned singing in this makes for a good disguise for it

Until next time...

A.x