6 commandments of 2016

Right, no surprises how this is going to start because 2016 has been a bit of a funny one hasn't it? There's been icons cruelly taken from us, people less than admirable voted into positions of power, and Sean Paul was Christmas no.1

I was talking to someone about this shambles of a year, and they said 'but I think you, personally, have had a pretty good year. Has it been a good year with shit bits, or a shit year with good bits?' I've thought about this, over and over again, and I truly don't know.
This year, generally and personally, has been so turbulent with more ups and downs than Tigger on speed.
But there have been some consistencies that have stuck throughout these 365 days, and me and my life are all the richer for it.

So I present to you, the 6 commandments that got me through 2016...

1.) Thou shall bawl my eyes out

A lot of shit went down and a lot of people said goodbye that affected me more than I ever expected it too. I was down and disappointed about Brexit. I was sad and couldn’t stop listening to Purple Rain on repeat. And I felt silly about how it had made me feel, how emotional I got about it…but I really shouldn’t have.

Don't feel ashamed to mourn your heroes. Being moved by art is one of the things that makes life worth living

— Darren Richman (@darrenrichman) December 27, 2016

 These people broke boundaries of social perception, they were brave, they were outspoken, they were hilarious, they bought joy into people’s life and they made others feel less alone. And for these personalities to stop existing anymore, well yeah, hell it’s upsetting.

It's been more emotionally harrowing this year than any other. From feeling part of my national identity was no more, to trying to put aside my emotional feelings to deal with practicalities through heartbreaking personal times.

Sadness is not a sign of weakness. It’s a sign that you care. So put on your homegirl Adele and sob your little heart out because at the end of the day, it’ll feel so much better when you say hello on the other side. 

2.) Thou shall not let bitches kill my vibe

Look, we’ve each got our own shit to deal. I get it. But you taking out your drama on me, is not ok hun. Here I was just here chilling, until you bloody rained on my parade. Making me feel shit so you feel better is just not on. It’s like i’m just skipping along in life with my ballon, and you come over and pop it, like…what the fuck?

3.) Thou shall learn to do fuck all

I’m not very good at not doing much. On the rare weekend I don’t have plans and I plan to just be a couch potato and watch everything on the weekend, more often than not, I fail. UNTIL NOW.
I don't know it's down to my career being more demanding, my social life being busier, or feeling more emotional draining than ever, but this year I’m really mastered the art of doing squat all.
Even when I go away, usually I fill it to the brim with activities and trips to every monument and sight going (I love me a pretty cathedral) but this summer when I went to Ibiza, I did not much else than have walks in the sun, read on the beach, dance the night away and talk the world to rights over sangria and tapas.
Sometimes you really need to make plans to have no plans just to reset and recalibrate. Take time out to look after yourself y'all.

4) Thou shall not shut up about feminism

And I’m not going to step until men and women have equality rights, in all aspects. End of. 

If you need me, you can usually find me banging on about why we’re still not quite there yet (while on my 4th pint at the pub), retweeting all things Caitlin Moran or spontaneously shouting ‘yasss!’ on the train while reading Amy Poehler. 

5.) Thou shall stand up for one's self.

I hate confrontation and because of there, more often than not I’ll just take myself away from the situation and sit on the sidelines with a gin & tonic and stroking a puppy until it all blows over.
But sadly, my reluctancy for drama and desire for harmony gets taken advantage of, and that’s really not on boo.
So, I told myself to be brave, speak my mind, share my thoughts, be fair and not be aggressive about it.
Whether it’s someone I thought was a friend or someone who’s feelings for me made have hopes of a future together - I’m not there for you to walk over, talk down to, and believe me babes, you haven’t got my feelings sussed out (as much as you’d like to think you have).
Not here to cause a scene but I might be stronger than you think I am and I’m not going to let you make me feel otherwise. 

6. Thou shall fight back

Against inequality and injustice. Whether that be race, gender equality, social class, LGBTQ+ rights or poverty. Unfortunately, life isn’t fair - wouldn't it be swell if it was?
Good people get dealt bad hands and so-called bad people get fucking sweet deals. That’s just how things are sometimes sadly.

But the worst thing to do is sit back and just take it as it is.
Instead, speak out, get involved - fight the hell back.
And if anyone’s taught me how to fight back like a boss this year, is my mum.
After getting diagnosed and having surgery complications, she never gave up. And never will I again about anything or anyone I care or feel passionate about. 

2016. You’ve been a right doozy, but I’m a strong believer than that things happen for a reason. Yes we’ve cried some tears and might have been knocked back, but I’m a tougher, more informed, passionate person who gave a real fuck, because of it. So cheers for that...I guess?

2017, please be kinder and bring more hope.

Until next time...

A.x

14 things I learnt in 2014

I spent the first moments of 2015 hugging my friends, watching fireworks, clinking champagne glasses, holding hands with one another while mumbling along to 'Auld Lang Syne' (that none of us knew the words to...), which was then followed by watching a bunch of bare bums run around in the cold while I ate a slice of Ferrero Rocher cheesecake. 

Couldn't think of a better way to ring in the new year to be honest.

As we say Au Revoir to 2014 and wave Bonjour! to 2015, it's inevitable that it's a time that we reflect and look back on the year that's passed. 

So, here are all the life lessons I've learnt in 2014, and what I learnt about myself.

1.) Novelty handbags are for life, not just for LOLs

And thank god 2014 was THE year for novelty handbags that gave me lots of new offerings. I bow down to my queens, Anya Hindmarch and Charlotte Olympia, even if my budget is way below them (one day my beautifuls...), but for now, I'm happy with my milk carton and a fluff monster.

2.) I enjoy writing my blog so much more, now that I write it for myself.

When I first started blogging, I had such a clear idea my head that it was going to be a fashion blog, and solely that. After many outfits posts that became more and more half-hearted, and for the days I just lounged in my sweats, I ended up with no content. The first time I wrote a post that was more about something more personal, and not just some dress I bought that week, I actually felt nervous to publish it, and Lo-&-behold, people actually really liked it! Although I still like posting a tutu skirt here and a beaded dress there. I've been doing posts like these more and more. I still always try to make my content interesting for others to read (otherwise, I might as well put it in my diary). Not only am I happier writing them and with my blog, but friends like reading them, and I'm gaining more readers too! Shucks you guys *blushes*.

3.) Never apologise for things you shouldn't be sorry for.

Declining on a 2nd date with someone. Not being able to help out with something because you're working to a deadline. Choosing to stay in and binge on Netflix, instead of going out this one time. These are all decisions that you're allowed to make as a human being and not be made to feel guilty of. No apologies needed.

4.) I'm a feminist.

I've written about it enough this year, so I'm not going to go on about it, but I basically had some warped views of what feminism was, didn't think I was one, and then realised my views actually meant that I was. A pretty proud one at that. You can read more here and here. Grab some biscuits and sit down to have a read.

5.) Fully embrace the fuck out of your personal style.

I pick up a leather pleated skort-playsuit and I full on know it'd look amazing on Jourdan Dunn or that friend of mine with the killer legs. But I put it on, and it just doesn't look...right. It fits ok, it looks ok, but it just doesn't look like me. I just wasn't destined to dress 'cool', and I'm more than OK with that as I sit in my sparkly skirt and bardot top.

6.) Job-hunting is an absolute ballache.

Yes, I know unemployment is dropping, and yes, I've not been graduated for long, but the mountain of applications I've sent over this past year, compared to the minuscule replies I've received, is enough to make Micky Mouse feel down in Disneyland. Companies and magazine: I know you're hella busy but PLEASE, answer back to me! I'm pretty easy-going and positive about the whole thing most of the time, but it's also definitely not a walk in the park either.

7.) One night stands don't make you a shitty person.

I'm a complete, smushy, philosophical hopeless romantic, but sometimes, that's just exactly why some guys stumble into your life. They're not all gonna sweep you off your feet and be the Seth to your Summer, the Ross to your Rachel. And definitely don't spend the next day feeling guilty and bad about yourself. You did nothing wrong. 

8.) Going on a break with technology is a healthy thing.

I love social media and all the hashtags and retweets that go with it. I spend more time on YouTube and Instagram than I care to think about, and although I'm all about the future and jazzy tech things that can do amazing things, I realise that I spend the majority of my day staring at a screen, moving from my laptop to my phone and back again. It's good to disconnect. Go to the pub with your friends and don't instagram about it - just revel in their company. Read a book and let your imagination completely suck you into it. Leave your phone at home and go for a walk. Listen to the birds, embrace the nature - channel your inner David Attonburugh. 

9.) Stop comparing yourself to other people.

There's always going to be someone who's body you idolise towards, or someone who you think is completely ace-ing it and going far with their career. But we all have our own individual worries and struggles, and you're doing the best that you can. What you see of others is only a small champagne-&-shopping filled slice of their life. Instagram lives aren't real lives. 

10.) Friendships grow apart.

Those who care about the friendship you share, will make the time and effort for it. Those who aren't, you'll see them on a yearly reunion basis, and it'll still be lovely, and you'll always have those memories of being embarrassing teenagers together. But you shouldn't always feel like you're the only one making effort to catch up or make plans. It's fine to have some friends who you aren't as close to compared to others. Think of it as a tiered cake of friendship. Yum.

11.) Similarly, friends are just the best.

Deadline stress, date outfit dilemmas, hungover debriefing over endless coffee, or the same old boy troubles - friends are fucking fantastic at helping you through it all. They pour you into a taxi home when you've had one too many, and they invite you round for tea when law revision is getting to you. Whether it's bonkers northerners you've only known for a year that you clicked with straight away, or a group of childhood friends who you've known since you've first shared your first Strongbow together - they're brilliant and you need to make sure you cherish those lil treasures.

12.) Stop caring what other people think.

It's easier said than done. You shouldn't care what other people think about you, but we're all human, and we do. But throughout this year, the thought of whether people will think I look silly in my multi-coloured feather gilet, or think I'm ridiculous when I roller-skate to my friend's flat, disappeared more and more. Whether it's if you care about whether people will like your new hair, or you're worrying about what that guy thinks of you, there's no point worrying. It doesn't matter what someone else's opinion is on the situation. If someone made you feel shit, then they made you feel shit. That's that, and they're obviously not worth it, because, who likes to feel shit?
Worry less, have a laugh, and enjoy your life.

13.) Time goes by way too quickly.

Big cliché I know, but blimey-o-riley, it really does! Having little nieces and nephews running around really makes me realise this more than ever. One moment, they're spitting out strawberries out into my hand and I'm chasing after their snotty noses with a tissue, and the next minute, they're asking me about make-up and teaching me how to play games on my phone. 

14.) As always, tea fixes any and everything.

That's a given. Hasn't changed, never will. 

What have you learnt from the past year? 

I hope you all had fantastic 2014, and 2015 has lots of new memories, love, laughter & adventures stored for you.

Happy New Year you lil' munchkins!

Stay happy!

Until next time...

A.x

New Year, New Slate...

Happy 2013 everyone!

I hope you had a brilliant NYE, whether it was out boogieing with friends or chilled out at home with family.

I've always thought NYE is one of the most over-hyped nights in the calender and much i enjoy putting my gladrags on and a night out, i had a slightly more relaxed evening and had a night in with some friends and drinks, dancing along to 80s classics.

My 2012 has been one of the best and worst years of my short time on this earth.

I lost some people in my life, physically and emotionally. I lost a member of my family who was a massive part of my upbringing, and what haunts me the most is that i didn't get a chance to say goodbye. A relationship i had been in since i was 17 and that i put my whole heart and being into, ended. It was a massive change, so it's taken some getting used to, and to be honest, at times I'm still trying to figure out how to deal with. I had some big birthdays in my family and also a new member, making me Aunty Amy for the 3rd time!

And I've realised even more than ever how amazing my friends and family are and how much they are there for me, i've never appreciated them more and became a lot closer to some.

And there was the amazing Olympics! I was on full team GB fever! I've always been proud to be British, but this summer, it was extra special and the whole country just felt like it was united.

 

 Life will always have ups and downs, but the downs don't make the last year of my life any less special, and there is so much that I'm looking forward to in the next year! And I'm so grateful for those in my life who have overshadowed the lows in my life.

I'm not usually one for new year resolutions, and since the only resolution I've ever made in the past few years is the cliche of losing weight, which i have finally accomplished since moving out from home to uni (but I'm sure I've erased all that work over the Christmas eating period!)

However, there are some things i want to start doing in this year, and hopefully continue in my life..

Starting off easy, i need to go to bed earlier! Over this past year, I've slipped back into my nocturnal ways which i don't want to be, so here's to earlier night and earlier morning back in my life! Bye bye night owl!

Take more chances. So many times, i over-think things, which is one of my many bad habits. I need to just go for things more, go with my instincts. You only have one life, you might as well fill it the most amazing things and they're not going to happen without taking up all the chances that come your way. 

If the past year has taught me anything, its to never take your family and friends for granted, so i will always remember to make time for them, to go visit and see them and spend priceless time with them.
 

 Shop less. Not much else that needs to be said about that...

Start a video diary. Being a big Youtube geek, I've wanted to make videos for so long now, and so much is going to change during this year and i want to in a way document it. I don't know if they're going to turn into vlogs on Youtube, or just stay on my laptop, but I'm doing it, let's see where it goes :)

And finally, just for funsies, i want to learn the ukulele!  Why not?!

I hope you have an amazing 2013, filled with loved ones, adventures, good health, love, happiness, and lots of laughter.

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Hope you'll stick by me on my journey throughout 2013!

Speak soon,

A.x