Month by Numbers: old friends, old exes, old patriarchal shit

7 favourites...

1.) I rung in the 2017 with some of my oldest friends. 2016 was a bit of a tough one, but it's heart-warming and comforting to know that people can grow up and further away, but that doesn't necessarily mean you grow apart. 

2.) To beat the January blues, I got the opportunity to go see Cirque Du Soleil's Amaluna show and I was completely blown away by the bedazzling and jaw-dropping talent. It also made me want to finally sign up for those ariel acrobat classes, but that's another story. I also went to see one of my friend's band. They all work 9-5 jobs but they're also following their passion. The crowds are getting bigger and bigger names are noticing them. Morale of the story to both of these shows kids? Follow your heart and follow your dreams y'all.

3.) Everyone has highs and lows in their work life, but undoubtedly the no.1 high is the work family I've gained. Not only do they turn dreading my commute, into looking forward to chatting all kinds of ridiculous rubbish with them in the office, but I've gained a whole bunch of new friends who inspire me, support me and encourage me (whether that be in work or to drink)

4.) An old flame of mine got in touch with me out of the blue. He called time out on our relationship, and after 6 months of silence and moving on, he decided to call once again. This time on my phone. I don't know what his intentions were or the words he had to say, and I gave up sticking around to find out when we parted ways, so I guess I'll never know what he wanted to say.

5.) You know what? We should all take random days off work more often. I did for a friend's birthday and we just wandered around London without feeling like we were running late for work. We drank hot chocolate that was 90% toasted marshmallow, and we went to the You Say You Want A Revolution? exhibition at the V&A. Yes it was about the music and fashion of the the 60s, but what I didn't expect was for it to go into the social issues and movements of that time too, which seem more relevant in this current moment in time in society, than ever.  

6.) The Women's March left me feeling proud, united and hopeful in humanity and the scary uncertainty of the future. There were people of all genders, ethnicities, ages and walks of life, caring about, well...people. And that's all it is people!

7.)To me, Chinese New Year every year means family time, tons of food and the tradition of receiving money in red packets (which I don't think I'll ever get bored of)
But, every year, I want to learn more about my heritage, and do so over a bottle of red wine with my dad. Basically, it's like a 2nd Christmas for me and I'm more than OK with that.

5 tweets...

1.) "I've started off the new year w/fizz, a puppy, chanting 'Stoke' @robbiewilliams on the tv & my tit tape sweating off #Hello2017"
2.) "I'm having pigs in blankets withdrawal symptoms "
3.) "Newbie at boxing yday came up to me at the end saying 'thanks for being a cheerleader when I was struggling!' Girls are THE BEST "
4.) "My thai green curry has gone pink cus I put red cabbage on it. Pretty on-brand tbh "
5.) "Friends say I'm more youth-like than usual this week. Strange as I've said sensible things: 'My side hustle is so extra, it's gonna be lit'"

3 songs....
1.) Ed Sheeran - Shape of You

He's back, and with a funky and sultry sound. And I'm a big fan of this and it's flirty lyrics.

2.) Childish Gambino - Redbone

If this doesn't make you want to snog the person you fancy all over, then I don't think you're listening to it right.

3.) Snakehips and MØ - Don't Leave

This sounds gorgeous and the lyrics are oddly heartbreaking. All the feels, all at the same time.

6 commandments of 2016

Right, no surprises how this is going to start because 2016 has been a bit of a funny one hasn't it? There's been icons cruelly taken from us, people less than admirable voted into positions of power, and Sean Paul was Christmas no.1

I was talking to someone about this shambles of a year, and they said 'but I think you, personally, have had a pretty good year. Has it been a good year with shit bits, or a shit year with good bits?' I've thought about this, over and over again, and I truly don't know.
This year, generally and personally, has been so turbulent with more ups and downs than Tigger on speed.
But there have been some consistencies that have stuck throughout these 365 days, and me and my life are all the richer for it.

So I present to you, the 6 commandments that got me through 2016...

1.) Thou shall bawl my eyes out

A lot of shit went down and a lot of people said goodbye that affected me more than I ever expected it too. I was down and disappointed about Brexit. I was sad and couldn’t stop listening to Purple Rain on repeat. And I felt silly about how it had made me feel, how emotional I got about it…but I really shouldn’t have.

Don't feel ashamed to mourn your heroes. Being moved by art is one of the things that makes life worth living

— Darren Richman (@darrenrichman) December 27, 2016

 These people broke boundaries of social perception, they were brave, they were outspoken, they were hilarious, they bought joy into people’s life and they made others feel less alone. And for these personalities to stop existing anymore, well yeah, hell it’s upsetting.

It's been more emotionally harrowing this year than any other. From feeling part of my national identity was no more, to trying to put aside my emotional feelings to deal with practicalities through heartbreaking personal times.

Sadness is not a sign of weakness. It’s a sign that you care. So put on your homegirl Adele and sob your little heart out because at the end of the day, it’ll feel so much better when you say hello on the other side. 

2.) Thou shall not let bitches kill my vibe

Look, we’ve each got our own shit to deal. I get it. But you taking out your drama on me, is not ok hun. Here I was just here chilling, until you bloody rained on my parade. Making me feel shit so you feel better is just not on. It’s like i’m just skipping along in life with my ballon, and you come over and pop it, like…what the fuck?

3.) Thou shall learn to do fuck all

I’m not very good at not doing much. On the rare weekend I don’t have plans and I plan to just be a couch potato and watch everything on the weekend, more often than not, I fail. UNTIL NOW.
I don't know it's down to my career being more demanding, my social life being busier, or feeling more emotional draining than ever, but this year I’m really mastered the art of doing squat all.
Even when I go away, usually I fill it to the brim with activities and trips to every monument and sight going (I love me a pretty cathedral) but this summer when I went to Ibiza, I did not much else than have walks in the sun, read on the beach, dance the night away and talk the world to rights over sangria and tapas.
Sometimes you really need to make plans to have no plans just to reset and recalibrate. Take time out to look after yourself y'all.

4) Thou shall not shut up about feminism

And I’m not going to step until men and women have equality rights, in all aspects. End of. 

If you need me, you can usually find me banging on about why we’re still not quite there yet (while on my 4th pint at the pub), retweeting all things Caitlin Moran or spontaneously shouting ‘yasss!’ on the train while reading Amy Poehler. 

5.) Thou shall stand up for one's self.

I hate confrontation and because of there, more often than not I’ll just take myself away from the situation and sit on the sidelines with a gin & tonic and stroking a puppy until it all blows over.
But sadly, my reluctancy for drama and desire for harmony gets taken advantage of, and that’s really not on boo.
So, I told myself to be brave, speak my mind, share my thoughts, be fair and not be aggressive about it.
Whether it’s someone I thought was a friend or someone who’s feelings for me made have hopes of a future together - I’m not there for you to walk over, talk down to, and believe me babes, you haven’t got my feelings sussed out (as much as you’d like to think you have).
Not here to cause a scene but I might be stronger than you think I am and I’m not going to let you make me feel otherwise. 

6. Thou shall fight back

Against inequality and injustice. Whether that be race, gender equality, social class, LGBTQ+ rights or poverty. Unfortunately, life isn’t fair - wouldn't it be swell if it was?
Good people get dealt bad hands and so-called bad people get fucking sweet deals. That’s just how things are sometimes sadly.

But the worst thing to do is sit back and just take it as it is.
Instead, speak out, get involved - fight the hell back.
And if anyone’s taught me how to fight back like a boss this year, is my mum.
After getting diagnosed and having surgery complications, she never gave up. And never will I again about anything or anyone I care or feel passionate about. 

2016. You’ve been a right doozy, but I’m a strong believer than that things happen for a reason. Yes we’ve cried some tears and might have been knocked back, but I’m a tougher, more informed, passionate person who gave a real fuck, because of it. So cheers for that...I guess?

2017, please be kinder and bring more hope.

Until next time...

A.x

18 times the The Powerpuff Girls was way too real

The Powerpuff Girls were my jam back in the day. That theme song. The striped dress. THOSE GIRLS.

And what with the freelance lifestyle I'm living and the Netflix subscription I'm repping, I'm not gonna lie - I've been reliving my childhood and indulginging in some PPG marathons. And oh my, has it been glorious. 

If you thought the cartoon was pretty fab when you were 6-years-old and watching it on a Saturday morning in your pjs, then get ready to have your mind blown as an adult over the innuendos, cheeky jokes and actual life lessons it contains. Honestly. It's a bit TOO real.

Don't believe me? Just take a look for yourself...

1.) First thing's first, TRUTH.

No further comments needed.... (LOL)

2.) Confrontation is awkward as FUCK

Coming from someone who notoriously shies away from confrontation, you can go from mumbling idiot to blurting out your feelings in about 0 to 60.

3.) Diets are a fad

Kinda wanna look like a Victoria's Secret model. Kinda wanna eat burgers and fries. The struggle is so very real.

4.) Just you do you babes, and that's all that matters

That only person that is allowed an opinion on your life, what you do with it and how you live it is, well, YOU.

5.) Sometimes your hair will just have a life of it's own

No amount of serum of twists around your curler will sort out that sitch. You've just gotta put it down as a bad hair day and move on. 

6.) Never judge a book by it's cover

You wouldn't want someone to do that to you right? So don't do that to others! Everyone's living their own life their own way.

7.) You don't have to prove yourself to anyone

 If you being you isn't good enough for them, well, that just means they're definitely not worth your time.

8.) The internet has the answer for everything

Google that shit.

9.) Gender equality is a tough ol' thing

It's getting better, but it's oh boy, is it still a bit of a struggle. 

10.) Admit to your flaws

We all have them and the best thing you can do is embrace them and explore ways you can improve on them.

11.) Some people are just dicks, and you'll never know why

If only we would just nice to one another, the world would be such a better place! It's so simple it hurts.

12.) Don't let people kill your vibe

YOU'RE AN UNIQUE, SPARKLY, BADASS UNICORN WHO IS LOVED AND SPECIAL IN THIS WORLD AND DON'T LET ANYONE TELL YOU OTHERWISE.

12.) Early mornings never get easier

Caffeine please, PRONTO.

13.) Zzz is oh-so-important

It's more than just beauty sleep. It's essential and keeps-you-sane sleep.

14.) You should embrace your feelings - even when they're shit ones

With the fab times, comes the shit times, and when those times roll around, just allow yourself to feel down in the dumps for a bit. It'll get better again in no time.

15.) And whatever you do, DON'T bottle those feelings up!

Vent, baby, vent.

16.) It's important to make time to take care of yourself

Treat yo'self and love yo'self.

17.) You'll never please everyone

Not everyone's your cup of tea, so you're not gonna be everyone's. There's plenty of people who love you and those who don't? They can just slide on by.

18.) And you can never go wrong with being nice

BE NICE OK.

Until next time,

A.x

Equality.

In the last couple of days, the issue of gender equality has blown up and gotten people talking, discussing and debating about it - and that's flipping brilliant.

Emma Watson made a speech to the U.N last weekend, as their Women Goodwill Ambassador, and received a standing ovation. She spoke about when she realised she was a feminist, and the issue of gender equality. 

Her speech went viral and was applauded for worldwide, and it really raised the discussion of gender equality, and brought more awareness to the issue. She launched the HeForShe campaign, (as if you needed another reason to love her even more!), and I think it's going to influence a wide audience. With her association of being Hermione in the Harry Potter series and franchise, she has a whole audience of young fans, and I feel that this is going to reach out to those especially, who may not have aware that this even was an issue, or have any opinions on it formed yet.

HeForShe urges men speak up and fight for gender equality, and support the women in their life. The public and celebrities alike have backed the campaign with full force.

@Harry_Styles: "I'm supporting @UN_Women and @Em_Watson in #HeForShe As should you..."

@DouglasBooth: "I am a passionate supporter of gender equality."

@twhiddleston: "@EmWatson you are impeccable & extraordinary. I stand with you. I believe in gender equality."

Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who is also supporting the campaign, has a company named hitRECord, which is an 'open collaborative production company'. It invites anyone and everyone to get involved with projects of a specific topic. And he's asking people what feminism means to them. 

I didn't really know what feminism was until about 2 years ago. I knew it was a thing and people were feminists, but I didn’t know what it all meant.

Until I was researching to write up my dissertation. I read up about it, learnt about the 2nd wave of feminism. Until then, I didn’t realise that the reason I can vote, the reason I can apply for the same job as men, the reason i have the freedom to do so many things, is because of feminism.

Now, I don't want to turn this into a feminism blog (not that that would be bad thing) but it really got me thinking what being a feminist actually means to me. I've posted before about my experiences of it, and I know I am one, but, but that question really made me sit down and really had a think.

What I came to was that, for me, feminism means that your rights, actions, opinions, choice and beliefs not being judged on because of your gender. It's about equality.

Equality. It’s not about women hating one another. It's not 'men-hating'. Feminists don’t hate men, many feminists ARE men. It’s not about one sex being better than the other, but them co-existing as equals. 

It's not even about non-feminists and feminists being against one another. More recently, I read numerous articles about Annie Lennox criticising Beyoncé and her form of feminism as 'feminism-lite'. Now, I know that Annie Lennox has been a long-time activist, and I'm not arguing with her, because it's her opinion, but that almost seems like a battle of 'who's the better feminist' in my eyes. But it seems to me that, different people attract and reach differnt audiences, and surely, the more people that promote a positive message about important matters like gender equality, that can only be a good thing. That message is being spread, because people who listen to 'Single Ladies' may not also be a fan of 'Harry Potter'. Surely, if at the core of it, your beliefs are the same, that should be the only thing that matters?

As Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie put more concisely and elegantly, a feminist is a person who believes in the social, political, and economic equality between the sexes.

There should be no expectations of a person to act, look, or behave in a certain way, because of their gender. Just like I said before feminist and feminine aren’t exclusive to themselves - don’t want to shave your legs? That's great! Want to wear a sparkly pink bow? Awesome! Want to be a stay-at-home housewife? Fantastic! Want to be a kick-ass mechanic? That's amazing! Want to have as many kids as the Von Trapp family? Perfect! Don’t want any kids? Perfect too!

Choices like these should be down to each individual person, and they should not be judged by them. Some people think equality's been achieved but with comments such as ones like this:

We've still got work to do.

There lots of different views and types of feminism, so I urge you and go find out more about feminism and figure out what it means to you - I've just bought some books myself and can't wait to get stuck in!

What is your stance and opinion on it?

And if you want, do contribute to the hitRECord video (which I've done so myself!), and join in on an interesting discussion that concerns us all.

Stay sassy & stay happy!

Until next time,

A.x