Genie, you're free

On August 11th 2014, Robin Williams passed away.

It was definitely one of those moments where I'll always remember where I was when I heard the news - sitting with friends playing Articulate - and I was immediately stunned and saddened.

I don't really know why I'm writing this. It was 2 weeks ago, but I still feel genuinely sad about it. It's strange how someone you've never met, can make such an impact on your life, and an even larger impact when they leave it.

I've felt sad about other 'celebrities' deaths before - Michael Jackson, Amy Winehouse, Whitney Houston - but this time, it's different somehow.

Robin Williams brought an immense amount of happiness and laughter to my childhood. Mrs.Doubtfire was one of my favourite films, and I watched Aladdin on repeat. As I grew up, I would be amazed and in stitches as I saw Williams on interviews, talk shows and stand-up, and was blown away at how talented this human being was, and how much he made me laugh. Even now, I still watch Aladdin and not only feel the same happiness as I did as a child, but also appreciate his voicing and ability to show emotion and animation just through his voice.

I think that's part of the reason why his death can affected me so much, but also, the way he left this world.

As I've been searching for clips of Robin Williams to watch on YouTube, and remember him for the talented and hilarious man he was and always will be, I've come across so many comments about his passing, and what really surprised me was, there were more calling him a coward, than paying their respects.

One comment had said how he hadn't passed away, as he took his own life. There were people saying how could he have done this to his wife and kids. How he should've sucked it up and got on with it. And it all just makes me feel just so sad and disappointed about humanity. Now, I don't claim to know much about mental illness, and I definitely don't have a medical background. But what I do know though, is all those comments are ludicrous and wrong.

Depression is a minefield. Any mental illness is. You can't necessarily see it, and telling someone to get help, is easier said than done. I've experienced people close to me dealing with depression in my own life, so I know how hard the battle against it can be. Everything may seem fine on the surface, but that might be the case deep down. Robin Williams, as far as I know, had dealt with depression, anxiety,alcoholism and now reportedly, early stages of Parkinsons' Disease. I can't imagine what was going on in his mind.

I guess what really breaks my heart is that, he saw no other way to deal with all his battles, but to end them all together. And it's not just him. So many people out there have a mental illness and may not be receiving the support and help they need.

Robin Williams was one of a kind. There will never be another like him, and I'm so grateful he gave this world so many brilliant characters, movies and uncontrollable laughter - and that's how I'm going to remember him.

I hope the one thing that comes out of this tragedy, is that society learns more about mental illness. I have myself by researching about it and wanting to know more.

Please. If you feel there is no-one out there to help you, support you, or even to talk to - I promise you there is. Please don't suffer in silence. You have one, amazing life, and it's all yours to live.

Go watch Good Will Hunting. Admire Dead Poet's Society. Laugh at Flubber. Relive Mrs.Doubtfire. Get lost in Jumanji. Love Aladdin.

But most importantly, take Williams words and live your life.

I genuinely hope you are all well, and if not, please know there are people out there who love you can want to help you.
Speak soon,
A.x

Sugar Sweet

As we all anticipated, the British Summer was never going to last forever.

dress:LOVE, trainers:Nike, belt:ASOS, socks:Topshop, necklace: Topshop

So, before it finally draws to a close, I skipped out of the house to catch every last drip of sunshine that England had to offer, and what better dress to soak it all up, than this flirty, little off-the-shoulder number.

Keeping everything delicate, and blushing in pink, and I the daintiest of necklaces on, and even my socks were pink (complete with hearts and everything!)

This outfit made me feel all soppy and loved up, frolicking amongst the flowers that coincidentally, matched my outfit too! Good jobs nature!

Keeping things fresh, I laced up my Nikes and popped on my favourite belt (which I always think has a Moschino feel to it, with it's black and gold tones)

Although I am a MASSIVE summer bunny - I love the sun, I love not having to wear tights, I love the BBQs and Pimms and I love that it doesn't get dark until 11pm - I am looking forward to changing up my wardrobe for autumn and having more fun with layering, ample amount of tartan, and lashings of maroon, pine green and mustard yellow.

What about you? Are you holding onto every last bit of summer? Or are you looking forward to wrapping up warm?

Hope you're all well,

Speak soon,

A.x

"You're not a feminist - You don't look like one!"

I got really riled up the other day when a car reversed into the back of mine. And it wasn't because he scratched or dented it.

There's a term that my friend Kim coined once when I was telling her about all the times that people didn't take me seriously because of the purple ribbon tied in my hair, or because I'm on a phone that has bunny ears on.

'Elle Woods syndrome'

If you've seen Legally Blonde (and why wouldn't you have - it's amazing), you'll know what I mean. When people don't take you or your opinion seriously as a grown-up, because in their eyes, you don't look like one.

Let my homegirl Zooey Deschanel explain it to you as she best knows how...

When she said this in New Girl, I practically jumped out of my chair in agreement.

There's been so many times that I've been spoken down to because of my appearance and way I dress. A flatmate of mine once laughed straight at the fact that I called myself a feminist, because - and I quote - I didn't look like one. Apart from not knowing what that actually mean (how is a feminist even supposed to look?...), it's also ignorant and offensive to females and feminists everywhere. 

Feminist or Feminine. 

That isn't a choice that has to be made - why can't you be both?

But this incident really took the biscuit. I went to the supermarket, and as my dad toddled inside to get some milk and other bits and bobs (Elle magazine, chocolate, wine - you know, the essentials), and I sat in the car, all parked up, and waited. And while I was sat there, waiting in my stationary, parked car,all of a sudden there was a big crash sound and I felt a bump. A guy hadn't looked properly while he was reversing, and hit my car. So I got out to check my car and speak to him - like anyone else would do (and also thought to myself, what on earth he was playing at - was he not looking?!)

He just kept telling me how I was making it into a bigger deal than it actually was and that I was over-reacting. The car was fine, but I wanted to take his details in case something came up later on, but he just made me feel like I was being a drama queen!

"Oh, it's nothing really! You should stop worrying - trust me! You don't need my details!"

The way he was talking to me was like I was a useless, little girl, who didn't know my left from my right. He was even getting back into his car while he was saying all this. But then, when my dad came back to the car, the gentleman in question all of a sudden was a whole different person, being super apologetic.

"I am SO sorry. Are you sure everything's OK with your car? Have a proper look - I'd hate for you to drive off and then find something wrong."

I was stunned. 

He would've trusted my dad, who - no offence to my clever and delightful darling dad - is elderly, prone to forget things, English is his 2nd language, and can't even hear my when I say 'Good Morning' to him, rather than talking to a young woman who is socially engaged, studying a Masters degree and does actually know what she's talking about, despite what he thought.

My dad got into the car and I vented all the way home. And when I questioned how I just didn't understand why he did then, even he jokingly replied "Well, you are wearing a dress with hearts on it!"

It just makes me angry and disappointed because it's so ridiculous in this day and age, that people still judge others on their sex, and even more silly, on what they wear! 

Because that's exactly wheat that guy did - he saw that I was a girl. A female. One that didn't dress 'serious' enough, and just assumed that I didn't know anything, and swept me to the side as a silly, little girl who couldn't have dealt with the situation until a male came along.

And in 2014, that just isn't right.

Hope you're all well,

Speak soon.

A.x