Monday, 21 December 2015

12 very real struggles of Christmas in your 20s

There'll be no prizes given out for guessing that this girl here flipping LOVES Christmas.
From trying to stay up all night and catch a glimpse of Santa, to falling asleep early on the sofa from all the Bailey and Bucks Fizz - as soon as midnight hits on December 1st, I just can't hide that festive spirit anymore. (And let's be honest, I've not done a very good job of disguising it ever since Halloween finished anyway).

But singing along to your Christmas playlist and glugging down the mulled wine ain't all that the festive period is all cracked up to be when you're in your 20s, oh no! 
There's oh so much more to that when you're stuck in between being a big kid and pretending to be an adult...

1.) The balance between twinkly and tacky
I'm all about the Christmas jumpers - sequins, glitter, vintage, and even ones with actual bells on - but as much as 5-year-old me could go all out practically dressed as Santa's little helper, that might be just a BIT too jazzy nearly 20 years later on my work commute. So, a slick of red lippy and my 'kissing guys for mince pies' jumper with do as I head to my meetings.

2.) The gift of giving
How about instead of gifts, we do gifs instead? I'll make you a personalised one with my expert Photoshop skills and everything. Tis' the season of giving, and I always see stuff I'm dying to get my loved ones - before I look at the price tag and remember than I've also got about 15 other people to buy for and I chose a career that pays a pittance... WHY MUST YOU COST SO MUCH YOU FESTIVE FIENDS.

3.) Winter bulking
Party season means the tiniest and tightest of dresses come out to play, but also, so do mince pies. And well, you can't go to a Christmas market without having a Bratwurst or 2 right? No other time of the year would it be acceptable to start your day with a teeny tiny chocolate every single day, but, y''s Christmas! It's cold - you need to add a few extra layers on your body to keep you warm right?

4.) All I want for Christmas
Once upon a time, you imagined your life to look like the front of a snuggly Christmas card, with a couple cozy in front of an open fire. But in reality, you've been seeing someone for a bit and you don't know whether or not to get them a present - cus if they've got you one and you have nothing in return, well, you just look like a dick don't ya? Or you're just inundated with family members asking you if you've got a partner and why you're the only single one at the dinner table...BECAUSE I'M JUST FINE AND DANDY AUNTY CAROL LEAVE ME AND MY PIGS IN BLANKETS ALONE THANKS.

5.) Voice of an angel
Speaking of Mariah Carey, who HASN'T has tried to sing along with her vocal acrobatics and highest of high notes. Every time, every year, i'm convinced I can sing just as well as her (especially when it's the last song played on the dancefloor), and every year, I'm sorely proved wrong. Also, how many times is too many times to listen to that song in one day? Just asking for a friend...

6.) He's making a list, he's checking it twice
Well, I'm old and independent enough now that if I want something I like, I kinda already just, well, get it for myself? Long gone are the days of folding down pages in the Argos catalogue for my wish-list to Santa, and instead, I've realized I've ran out of that swish moisturizer I really like or I need a new diary - but that's just not as exciting as being surprised with a Barbie dream house is it?

7.) Decoration goals
You envisage your home to look like a winter wonderland of millions of fairy lights and wreaths that even Pinterest would be well jel of. In reality, you're stringing up your own baubles, cutting out snowflakes to hang on your archway and you've got the tiniest christmas tree that you and your flatmate's loose change can afford. It may be small but dammit it's YOURS and it smells glorious.

8.) White Christmas
As a kid, waking up and seeing the outside of your window covered in a beautiful white blanket was one of the best and most exciting feelings in the world. School was off and you were all geared up for a day of sledging. Now though, yeah you still get just as pysched - before you make your commute into work and the train's delayed or you need to de-ice your car. You're inevitably half an hour later and your gloves are soaked through.

9.) So, when are you free? 
Look, there's only 4 weeks in December, so only 3 weekends before the big day, therefore, realistically, only about 6 whole free days where you haven't got that thing called a job or life getting in the way. That ain't a lot of time for having fun with your squad! And with everyone's schedules being different, trying to find a time everyone to get together is just an absolute mission, but there's a reason why they call it a Christmas miracle.

10.) Merry & mulled 
It's been a long day at work, you'll go to a Christmas market or a pub with some friends just for a quick drink you think to yourself - you deserve it! You've been working hard at that 9-5 life yo. But mulled wine has this tricky power of tasting just like hot Ribena and before you know it, you're 6 mugs in and it's about to turn midnight. Just like Cinderella herself, you're trying to get the last train home after you've essentially drank a bottle of wine to keep yourself warm.

11.) Chill or thrills?
You can't wait to get home, get in your comfy clothes, and put on Love Actually with the bae (be that your other half or a big ol' pizza). Buttttt, the girls from yoga are also at the bar down the road - you know the one who do two for one cocktails and always play your favourite songs? Yeah. That one. YOU WANT TO DO BOTH BUT THERE'S ONLY ONE YOU.

12.) Nearest & dearest
And that's the biggest struggle of them all - having to come to terms and accept the fact that you're just a big festive soppy git deep down (you don't fool me you Scrooge)

Hope you all have a magical, love-filled festive period with all those that you love! 

Until next time,

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