13 ways my childhood gave me unrealistic hair goals

If you were anything like me when I was younger, your hair is a BIG ol' deal. Like, I'm talking social life and death on the school playground here people.

And there were so many people on my TV screen, in my favourite films and in my toy box, that made me think I 100% had a handle on my hair. But now as a full-fledged adult (ish), I can whole heartedly say each and every one of them betrayed me in giving me regrettable goals and unrealistic achievements to do with my hair. HOW COULD YOU GUYS I LOOKED UP TO YOU.

1.) Snip snip!

Parent Trap made me think I could cut my own hair perfectly. Fast forward to me accepting a dare to cut off my fringe at Scouts camp and having to live with with teeny tiny hairs sprouting out for months to come. Just take your photo of Lindsey Lohan to the hairdressers instead kids.

2.)  Perfect pigtails

Because of my fave member of my fave girl group, I felt it was acceptable, neigh, my duty! To wear pigtails on top of my head, as high and swishy as possible. Even when some boys in my class said they looked like pineapples (meanies), I stuck with my guns and kept my head and pigtails high.

3.) Headband headaches

Oh Lizzie. Lizzie, Lizzie, Lizzie. Way before the sassy and glitzy headgear of Blair Waldorf a la Gossip Girl, there was you. And only you could get a young girl to try on headband after headband on her larger than average sized - at an awkwardly forward position may I add. And as if enabling many headband-related headaches wasn't enough...

4.) Mad, hot, mess

...you also made me think that if I crimped parts of my hair and clipped sections up randomly, that would make me really 'edgy' and feel all punk. Oh dear. Take a seat lil' Amy - we need to have a word.

5.) Badass eh?

Of course, inevitably there will be a time where crimped hair alone just won't do. And during your devoted obsession with The O.C (which let's face it, has never really ended), you laid eyes on the oh-so-cool rock chick that was Alex, and saw her purple streak and knew you just had to have it too. That is, until you rocked up into school with it and your teacher told you to get rid of it. ASAP. Thank god it was just a glue in extension eh?

6.) Summer in bloom

It wasn't just Alex though - deep down my alliance was with Summer. So much so that I once ever took a screenshot of her from an episode, and printed the picture out so I could take it to the hairdressers with me. Yep. That actually happened. So it's no surprise that once upon a time I stuck the biggest and poffiest flowers in my crisped-curled hair, just like Summer did.

7.) Double trouble

Clipping a layer of your hair underneath all the rest of it to create some sort of faux fringe was completely my jam back in the day. Happy to report that is in the past, along with these bad boys...

8.) Flutterby butterfly

Of course every little girl wants a butterfly in her hair, right? But as if one metal-winged creature clamped onto your head wasn't enough, Sabrina the Teenage Witch convinced me that in this case, it was the more the merrier. Sadly, it just means a lot of your hair being tangled.

9.) Beach babes

MK & A continued to influence my hair choices well into my teens, when while binging on So Little Time, I was frazzle my hair with a Carmen Girls Angel Curlz wand and twist said locks while drenched in sea salt spray, just so I could get similar effortless beach waves like theirs. Sadly, I did not live on a beach, and it was by no means effortless.

10.) Side to side

Ah, Lindsey Lohan. When I bought her solo album (yeah, I'm just as confused as you are) and thought that sweeping all your hair from one side, to the other to completely cover your forehead like a combover was a top idea. Young Amy, stop trying to make a fake fringe happen. It's not gonna happen. You go and get one snipped in anyway you know.

11.) Long locks

Let's not forget the animated gals of my youth too. The scouts of the Sailor Moon gang made me wish and urge my hair to grow as long as possible so I could have a pony tail that's as swish-worthy as this. Said long lengths were quite hard to achieve when you have a dad that insists of giving you a bowl cut in the bathroom every few weeks.

12.) Barbie Babe

If my dad didn't cut my hair, I'm sure I would've convinced myself that I could cut my own after asking for this Cut 'N' Style Barbie doll for a present, time and time again. If only you could actually switch your hairstyle up this often, that easily. Sigh.

13.) Disney damsels

We can't talk about 2D gals without mentioning those Disney princesses. But trying to wash my hair like Meg while stood up in the bath tub, and tying up as many Princess Jasmine-esque bubbles in my pony tail as possible just resulted in a lot of tangled locks.

Until next time,

A.x

20 pieces of fashion advice from younger me

We all have photos from our past that make our cringe glands flare up - whether that be a picture of you naked in a bath as a kid, or a snap from that precious first time Vodka got the best of you. 

Or, y'know, when your mum dressed you up in the cut-offs of her curtains, or orange leggings layered under checked dress (literally WTF?)

But sometimes, perhaps your younger self knew better - you frolicked through life footloose and fancy-free, and you didn't care what anyone else thought, because opinions weren't even a thing in your cartoon & nap-filled world. You just wore whatever the hell you wanted!

So, I think it's about time I took some tips from lil' Amy when it comes to all things fashion and style.

1.) Always make sure your shoes are shined & buffed to the max

There's nothing that ruins an outfit more than mucky shoes - am I right? So make sure you can see your beautiful reflection in those babies. And if you want to team them with frilly socks and a preppy, pleated skirt, well, then you'll look all the better for it.

2.) Match your bag to your trousers

Especially when said bag features a Disney fashion icon, and those trousers are checked and cute af.

3.) Sometimes all you need is a matching set of leggings and sweatshirt

If casual-sporty-chic is what you're going for, then look no further. Oh, don't forget your light-up trainers as well.

Especially when that set features your boy Bugs Bunny and your homegirl Lola, all wrapped up in a poweder blue background - I wore this lil' duo to death. God I loved this outfit, I legit wish I still had it now.

5.) In fact, you can't go wrong with a co-ord set

Literally wore a striped long-sleeve with a red skirt the other week. And lemme tell you, look is still looking strong.

6.) Sassy slogan tees are always appropriate

Sometimes words are just too much effort, and all your need to say can be done so via a sassy slogan. 'Fashion goes first'? 'Cute not just clever'? Yep. Definitely all very important points to make as a teen.

7.) You can never wear too much sparkle

Can I have a garland made up of stars around my neck everyday please? Don't worry, I've already got the glittery tutu.

8.) A pair of shades will take your outfit to the next level 

Whether it's for protecting your eyes or blocking out the haters, you should always have a pair of sunglasses on hand. Essential y'all.

9.) Yellow is a killer colour 

Yellow is one of my favourite colours, and not only just because it's so goddamn cheerful and happy, but also cause it compliments olive-asian skin tone like a godsend. Work. It.

10.) Sometimes all you need is a throwback sweatshirt

Animaniacs and chill-out sweatshirts are both as brilliant as each other. And you know it.

11.) Remember that hats are always an excellent option 

Especially if that hat is worn backwards, and features a tuft of your fringe spilling out of it. That's how all the cool kids wear it right?

12.) Especially when you're being a baller

Sometimes, you listen to some Biggie Smalls, and just want to rock the day with some Stussy and an Air Jordan tracksuit.

13.) Collars and tartan go together brilliantly 

Look how smug I look on the right that my coller's so darn frilly and cute. And who do I think I am flashing the inside of my checked coat so you can see the full beauty of that tartan and chain get-up?! OOTD in the making.

14.) Never forget to use knitwear as a cover-up

As someone who is quintessentially British as hell, knitwear is always the right option - cardigans, jumpers, cable knits - you know it makes sense. (Odd rolled-up hairstyle: optional)

15.) Always remember to represent your idol

Remember to cross your arms because you're wearing an Ariel jumper and that means your DA BOSS, or if it's in the wash, then don't forget to leave the house without your My Little Mermaid colouring-in kit.

16.) When in doubt, remember your hair accessories

Minnie mouse ears, gemstone-studded cowboy hats - it's all good. 

17.) Don't forget your roots

Just like my homegirl J.Lo says, "Don't be fooled by the rocks that I got, I'm still, I'm still Jenny from the block." Remember where you came from guy and gals, and represent yo.

18.) Denim denim denim

Denim jackets back then. Denim jackets still now. Denim sandals worn with socks - not so much...

19.) If all else fails, STRIKE A POSE

WHO DO I THINK I AM. Arms in the air like I just don't care apparently. And I'm thinking I need to bring back those crossed legs as my signature move, right? (Also, is it mad to think the velvet-floral emsemble on the right is kiiiinda channeling Alexa Chung vibes? Long shot? Ok.)

20.) Oh, and the best accesory?

A great big, fat smile! 

Even when your sunglasses aren't properly on your face and your Barbie heart-shaped watch doesn't even tell the time, your outfit will always look on point if you're wearing the emotion, Happy No.5

Stay happy!

Until next time,

A.x