11 reasons to swipe the hell left on Tinder

Once upon a time, I was swiping left and right on my phone like nobody's business

There were cute boys to chat to, who were saying silly-nice things to me until I resembled the blushing face emoji…what’s not to be on board with eh?

But sadly, the Tinder fairytale wasn’t meant to be. After deleting and re-downloading the app more times than a reality tv star promotes their workout DVD - usually when I’ve ran out of memory on my camera roll and then when I’m feeling hungover and needy on a rainy Sunday - I decided to banish it out of my life once and for all at the end of summer last year.
 (well, apart from logging in again for these screenshots - research and all)

And it’s not surprising to see why…

1.) Same shit, different day

Yeah, sliding your thumb from side-to-side is pretty easy and fun at times. But when you’re on a packed train and have stayed working late, the last thing on my mind is typing out one meaningless small talk after another, which took 20 left-swiped creeps to get to.


2.) It can be cringe-central

As someone who loves nothing more than a good pun, a cheesy line sadly does make me laugh more than it should but...even for a punster like me, there's a limit. Sometimes, it's just all too gouda to be true...

3.) Sometimes it's like talking to a robot

Hi, no I don't know what a girl like me is doing in a place like this, and yes I do like to have a fun time (you mean going roller-skating right?). I have a feeling that a strong case of copy and pasting is in use here.

4.) Sometimes it's racially questionable

I meannn.... Thanks? I think?

5.) Sometimes people are straight to the point



Short and sweet eh?

6.) And sometimes people are just looking for one thing (surprise surprise)


Well...at least they know what they're there for?! I’m don't have a fucking clue: A pretty face or a pretty decent conversation?! I get my ego stroked for a good while before feeling just a bit empty gonna be honest.

7.) It goes nowhere 

Might as well be on MSN and asking "wuu2?...nm, u?", while in my head, screaming 'WHY HAVEN'T YOU ASKED TO ACTUALLY MEET ME YET'


8.) You’re guilt-tripped for not wanting it to go anywhere

Sometimes, a handsome face lures you in, but the chat just isn't quite your cup of tea, which y'know, HAPPENS. Cus that's life. So you politely decline instead of lying or ghosting them (the absolute worst FYI). And for your honesty, you're met with cries of "WTF"', "are you serious" and "c'mon it's only fair".


9.) You’re constantly checking your phone

"Sorry, you were telling me about your day but I wasn't paying attention cus I was seeing if Tom the photographer who's 10 km away with the piercing green eyes has messaged me back."

10.) You’ve always got a low battery

As if liking photos on Instagram and Snapchatting your Friday night dancing along to Destiny’s Child didn’t drain your battery enough.

11.) You miss out on real life

Yep. I've been guilty of checking my phone more than I should, but it never got in the way and replaced my actual life. I’ve been out before at clubs, pubs, parties, get-togethers, and seen people just swiping away on their phones at the bar or in the corner on their own, away from all the interaction and people who are physically there. And that just makes me feel a bit sad y’know?

I’ve fallen in love with First Dates (along with the rest of the country) and as well as the show making me feel all smushy and in love with love, one of my biggest irks about it is when people appear on and have a whole tick-list of what they want in their perfect partner. Not to put a downer on things, but, aren’t you kinda setting yourself up for disappointment?

Going into a first date with an open-mind and open-heart is the only way to go...no?! And yeah, it might not go well or include more than it's fair share of awkward silences, but that’s OK!
(How else are you going to fill that autobiography of yours with fun anecdotes?)


My read at the moment is the always-funny Aziz Ansari’s Modern Romance, and he’s hit the nail on the head with how I feel about about this who Tinder malarky:

“I would rather put myself in those social situations than get exhausted…While we may think we know what we want, we're often wrong.
There's not a dating service on this planet that can do what the human brain can do in terms of finding the right person."

TRUTH.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against Tinder or any dating app - I went on some dates, met some nice people that I got on with from it, and have friends who are in kickass relationships from it - and I hope y’all have better luck or fun on it on your search for your Tinderella or whatever it is you're on there for.

 But for me? Afraid I'm swiping left on it - I’m having a whale of a time with the fun and cringe of my real life.

Until next time...

Stay happy!

A.x

The Five.

You know how each one of us is attracted to certain qualities in a person? Qualities that make our heart flutter and fancy the pants off them?

And I'm not talking about having blonde hair and blue eyes.

No, stuff that's much more deeper and meanigful than that.

I've wanted to make a post like this ever since I watched Will Darbyshire's video, where he writes a letter to his future wife. I'm not really a video person, and more a writing type of gal, but I decided to give it a shot. But after attempting a video, complete with horrendous bloopers, I couldn't put across what I wanted to say down in words, and it ended up seeming as superficial as I tried to avoid it from being.

That was until I read a post on the Man Repeller, about the top 5 criteria.

This is a list of 5 criteria that are most important to you when it comes to someone you mgiht approach into a relationship with. And as she puts it, it's important to be specific and positive, rather an negative. Because no-one wants an unkind, mean, stupid and horrible partner.

It's about stuff that really matters. Not just listing the thing physical attributes of your teenage heartthrrob that you plastered posters of around your room.

So, without further ado, here's mine...

1.) Love their food.

I love my food. Like, you will find me talking about how amazing food is, whilst I'm eating amazing food. Food and I have had a bit of a rollercoaster relationship, after having a rather chubby exterior while growing up. But I love the healthy stuff as much as the naughty stuff (and it's just as delicious most of the time!), whether it's cooking or dining out, food is more than just something to keep me alive. And I love so many different aspects of it - a world of traditional British grub, sophisticated sushi and endless mountains of pasta, wouldn't be enough! Dinner and good food is a big part of my family as well. It brings us together - whether through happiness or sadness. So dining out on McDonalds every night just isn't gonna cut it soz.

2.) Be Passionate.

About something. Anything.  I've been out with people who don't really have an opinion on anything. And it starts getting a bit tiresome trying to drag out some interest for a conversation. Anime, cooking, 1950s detective movies - anything! Have something that you love, not only for yourself, but then I don't feel as bad when I spend hours going on and on about why Elie Saab is the designer to make all girl's princess dreams come true. And just be passionate about it! 

(As well as being passionate in some other aspects in a relationship too...)

3.) Family-mad

I'm a proper family girl. Nothing fills my heart with as much joy as when my whole family gets together. I'd want you to get involved when my brothers challenge a duel on MarioKart, or my dad wants to share a tipple of cognac. And I'd want to feel like part of your family too. I've been in relationships where this has happened before, and it become so much more meaningful and homely.
The same goes with friends. As the Spice Girls once so poignantly said, 'if you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends'. Truth girls, truth.

4.) Not scared of intimacy or their feelings

Not necessarily proclaiming your love via a poem on MSN (yes, this has actually happened to me...), but also, I don't want to be guessing or trying to suss out how you feel about me or what you think about us. I've been in the situation before where I spend every second worrying and analysing, and it's not fun I can tell you..

5.) A big kid at heart

This doesn't mean immature. They're 2 completely different things. I care and work hard at my career and life, but also, I'm a massively young at heart. I'm a big believer in work hard, play hard, and when it comes to playtime, anything goes. I've been in a relationship where all fun and ridiculous ideas were thrown out of the windows and it made me feel like an idiot who needed to grow up. Surely being with someone where you can't fully be yourself, can't be healthy. So, please don't completely write it off when I suggest we go hunting for all the Paddington bear sculptures with marmalade sandwiches in our hands. When I get excited about a night out where there's a bouncy castle and a dance machine, I'd love it if you already had your Pac-man socks on ready to bounce (this is an actual event I've been to. It was amazing. Obviously).

One of the best present I've ever received is a box filled with Haribo heart sweets.

People say they don't know where all the single people are anymore, and I just think, 'Look around! They're everywhere!'

Could it be that people are so used to seeking and talking via the screens that they stare out, that they don't know how to talk to people in person anymore?

So go on - go talk to that person you've been looking at all night, and if there's a spark there, be nice & go for it! 

What have you got to lose?!

But most of well, just be yourself and don't worry!

 Things will happen when they're meant to.

Stay happy!

Until next time...

A.x

You look like my next mistake...

Yes, I have been listening to Taylor Swift's 1989 album on repeat like the rest of the world. And yes I'm relating to all of the lyrics.

After a series of failed romantic encounters over the past year, I finding myself asking 'Why?'

As well has singing along to 'Blank Space' and 'Bad Blood' at the top of my lungs with all my heart, I also recently read Alexa Chung's book, IT, where in one part, she talks about heartbreak.

And as I was reading it, I thought to myself 'God, I miss that feeling'.

It's not that I miss feeling heartbroken and thinking that my life will never be as happy as before, because I can tell you, that fucking SUCKS. 

But I miss caring and loving someone so much, and being so emotionally invested with someone and my future with them, that it hurts so much when it ended.

And I haven't felt like that in a long time.

Yeah I've dated guys, and I've been excited and a bit nervous before seeing them each time. 

But you know those butterflies in your stomach? Well they're not a cliche, and I haven't had that feeling in so long. 

Things have happened out of the blue, but they've disappeared as quickly as they came along.

And it's even made me question myself..

'Is there something wrong with me? Why do guys always end up bailing on me?'

When there's no reason for me to feel that way. 

Hey! I'm a nice girl! Who has plenty to offer and be a companion to someone

 (Single, nice young guys - hit me up!)

It's just sometime things don't work. 

And that's OK.

I just like being in a relationship.

I'm good in a relationship.

I like caring about someone else in my life, and having them there for me. I love being part of a partnership. I like feeling like I could potentially have a future with someone - whether that's real or just filled with empty dreamlike promises.

And don't get me wrong, I'm genuinely really happy. 

I'm happy with my life and myself.

And I'm not one of those girls whose sole purpose in life is to be on the hunt for a boyfriend.

(Apart from that one time where I cried about how lonely I was after one too many tequila shots. Oh drunk Amy, why do you always have to embarrass you and I both?)

And even after a year of guys who were sneaky, dishonest, wrong timing, and things just simply not clicking...

I know for a fact that all those recent past romantic encounters, and less recent relationships, didn't work out for a reason. 

And I honestly wouldn't truly be happy in them now.

I'm so thankful for even experiencing something so deep and meaningful (vom.) already at the grand old age of 22.

And I wouldn't change any of it.

Because if you don't go for it, then how will you ever know?

It's easy to get nostalgia and happy memories confused with missing someone and genuine emotions. 

But, you can feel happy about a time in the past, without still wanting it now.

And I know when the right person comes along, and the time is right, it willl all come together, and it'll all be worth it.

I guess I just miss feeling...something. 

Something real.

Stay happy,

Until next time...

A.x