16 Unrealistic Expectations as a Disney Princess Wannabe

I am a total Disney-loving nut.

No, I don't have a tramp stamp of Tinkerbell tattooed on me, nor do I have any desire to get married dressed as Minnie Mouse. But I do still watch and genuinely enjoy Disney films as a grown adult - and often find them even funnier when I catch onto lil' jokes I missed as a kid that they included for parents  (cheeky one Disney) - and sleep in pyjamas that have The Little Mermaid on.

Heck. I've even dressed up as my fave Disney Princesses at every possible fancy dress opportunity.

And yes, I know that Disney isn't all sunshine and sing-a-longs as it makes it out to be - I wrote a whole 10,000 dissertation on the whole blooming thing.

But things have moved on - Elsa and Anna have been taking over the world ever since the question 'Do You Want to Build a Snowman?' was uttered.

And  the thing is, they're magical. They make me think, feel, and believe ANYTHING is possible. And hey, in a world where we're constantly bombarded with depressing shit and utter chaos going on in the world to make even Mickey Mouse lose his faith in humanity, isn't a bit of magic to escape to just what we need?

Ever since I was little, I've wanted to be a Disney Princess - and still kinda do now. Ahem.
(Like you would say no if you were asked. Pft.)

But as time's gone on, I've realised that some things in the life of a DP, ain't all it's cracked up to be....

1.) Brushing your hair with a dinglehopper isn't magical and only ends in tangles and tear.

Leaving 6-year-old Amy having to have a fork wrestled out of her hair by her dad.

2.) In fact, ALL of the unrealistic hair envy.

Ariel's hair's so big because it's full of secrets - LIKE SECRETS TO HER BOUNCY HAIR.

3.) Not enough extensions and backcombing in the world would get your hair as volumious as Jasmine's pony tail.

I'll just settle for the gemstone headband and tiered hair ties I think, cheers.

4.) Top knots definitely don't work out like this when I pile my hair on top of my head.

Mulan? More like Mu-can't.

5.) And don't even get me started on Elsa's plait.

Girl must be packing some serious hairspray to keep those fly-aways at bay.

6.) Housework is never this much fun.

In reality, it's just me in my joggers, getting sweaty and swearing.

7.) Even Mary Berry can't cut off the pastry crust off a pie this casually.

Nevermind doing so balancing it on one hand and spinning it in the air willy-nilly.

8.) And sifting icing sugar without it looking like you've journeyed through a snowstorm?!

Who are you kidding Tiana.

9.) Rodents won't make a fancy ballgown for you.

If my fashion degree taught me anything, it's that it also involves pins pricking your fingers, loose threads stuck to you, and a lot of swearing.

10.) In fact, animal sidekicks in general can't do jack shit.

Meeko's hair salon? Yeah right - I'd just be happy if I could teach a puppy to sit.

11.) No-one is ever this quick when they're getting ready to get turnt up on the dancefloor. Not even The Flash I tell ya.

Fairy godmother, where art thou?

12.) Unlike that smart cookie Rapunzel, the smoulder can really fool you.

And although they may be charming, unlike the films, they most likely aren't gonna be your Prince Charming - and that's coming from someone who's dated someone who looks like Flynn Ryder with matchable smoulder.

13.) Eyeliner does not go on this smoothly and swiftly. Nop, nop, noppity-no.

The life of a eyeliner-flick-obsessed girl is a tough one. Symmetry is a bitch.

14.) And it sure as hell isn't this easy to fix up your make-up after getting a bit emosh listening to Adele.

"What? No, these aren't tears. I'M JUST ALLERGIC TO AIR."

15.) And if one was to accidentally fall asleep in their make-up, they DEFINITELY would not look this flawless.

Less Sleeping Beauty, more sleeping mascara smudges.

16.) Ribbon bows alone can't tie and keep up a ponytail. Take it from a seasonal ribbon wearer.

You ain't fooling anyone Belle.

But if it's one thing that is bang-on accurate, is that I wake up exactly like this...

Soz Quen Bey, but Anna's got this one nailed here.

Stay happy!

Until next time...

A.x

January Sparkles

I'm not gonna lie, January has really smacked me around the face and been a bit of struggle for me this year. I think I finally realised the real meaning of January Blues, and it's not a barrel of fun I can tell ya...

As a result of that, I've unapologetically spent days on end in wooly jumpers and bright coloured sweats binging on Netflix.

But dressing bottom half like Paris Hilton circa 2000 aside, I've been brightening up my January with metallic, shimmering goodness - from twinkle toes to skirts paired with backless wonders.

Oh, and not forgetting silver patterned trousers, complete with Delboy coat, which is the warmest, snuggliest thing in the world, and the best find I've ever discovered at a vintage store.

(Don't know who Delboy is? First of all, shame on you, secondly, google and youtube that legend)

It's been cold, and I mean so freezingly cold that it hurts - soz Elsa, the cold really DID bother me anyway - so stepping outside the house with less than 5 layers is just unacceptable. Hence the cowl-polo neck and additional hat. 

So any additional furry and warming wonders is always a must. And if they're dripping in multi-coloured fun, then that's a plus.

Or you could throw caution to the wind and chuck all sensibility and layers out of the window. As long as your boots are high enough to go over your knees, that's fine, right?

What else can you brighten up a grey January day with I hear you say? Anything that will make you aww or LOL. That includes foxes paired with pinafores (who said they were just for school?)

And as for a if all else fails, feel safe in the knowledge that your bum's having a sassy chuckle. Some cheeky treats from Victoria's Secret (pun intended), should do the trick!

Stay happy!

Until next time...

A.x

14 Things That Makes Uni the Best Time Ever

Being a student is one of the most messy, confusing, weird, hectic and fun times of your life.

 And I flipping loved it.

I've recently just graduated (yet again), and along with re-living and binge watching Fresh Meat from beginning to end, all of that has left me feeling a bit nostalgic about my old uni house, and the whole student life.
There's so many things that are brilliant about not being at uni anymore - essays are a thing of the past and not having to bicker about who takes out the bin is bliss - but there's also so many weird and wonderful things that make me want to enrol onto a course and do it all over again.

1.) Going to the corner shop at your worst. 

Pajamas. Onesies. Or whatever kind of lounge-wear your heart desires. It doesn't matter, if you've stayed in them until 2pm and decide you want a bag of sweets, it's socially acceptable as a student for you to not get changed and pop out. The staff at the Sainsburys Local in Northampton have seen some pretty spectacular get-ups on me. Including but not limited to rollers in my hair, and flats with polka dot socks and pink sweatpants. 

2.) The debrief the morning after the night before

One of my favourite things about uni was waking up and going downstairs to reconvene with your housemates and figure out and discuss last night's drunken events. There'd be endless cups of tea, embarrassed faces, waves of laughter, recollections of drunken snogs, and screams of 'OMG, NOOOO'. A hangover is so much more bearable with company.

3.) Your dancemoves come out in full force

Since it's student night every night, that means plenty of opportunities for you to bust out your moves, but that doesn't stop you from cracking them out at home as well. It may be the Jagerbombs, or just the fact that you're having fun with your friends, but you stop caring about what you look like when you're dancing, and just have a laugh. After that, there's no going back, and it's the best! 

4.) Your diet is bizarre and brilliant

Making a dinner as a joint effort and sharing it together is the best. But it's rare. Sharing a whole trifle, finding out chocolate bars are great to use as straws for tea, and taking full advantage of the yoghurt offer they have at your local shop however, are all completely reasonable. It may be because you're stressed or hungover or have a lack of sleep from staying up and chatting all night. Or it may be because your parents aren't there to tell you off and you can eat whatever you want cause you're a badass bitch.

5.) You suffer essays and deadlines together 

Yes, you have a horrific portfolio to finish, and there's simply no more words you can possibly write about art deco design, but at you've got a house of other people suffering the same plight. You know what they say, misery loves company, but with all of you huddled in the library or your living room together, with shed-loads of snacks and constant tea breaks, you'll get through it. I promise it.

6.) Your friends are never more than 15 mins away

It's like living in a bubble of students, so anyone you could ever want to hang out with or house you'd want to crash out, is always within arm's reach.

7.) Your creative juices are running to the max

Because you're a student, that means your skint. Probably due to all the student nights out that you end up going to, and the student discounts on ASOS that you can't say no to. So that means you can't just go out and buy Christmas decorations willy-nilly. Oh no. Cue cutting out snowflakes and stringing up your own baubles from Poundland.
You also get creative when it comes to pranking housemates - disguising your mannequin in a onesie ready for when your roomie gets out of the bathroom?

8.) Having one big-ass shared wardrobe

Hit a wall while trying to put together an outfit? Never fear, you've got a house full of other wardrobes for you to rummage through - you're bound to find a top or pair or heels to make your look work. Just beware: your room may be one big mess of a floor-drobe when you get home at 3am.

9.) Using fridge magnets and post-it notes is a perfectly reasonable way to communicate

Need more milk? Stress-baked some cookies to share with everyone? Your housemate needs to throw out that 3-month-old pot of hummous out of the fridge? All these notices are perfectly fine communicated via lettered fridge magnets from The Early Learning Centre. These are also a great tool for putting up artistic doodles and polaroids up on your fridge. Home decor at it's finest.

10.)  You do some weird-ass shit.

A video posted by Amy Lo (@amylo92) on Dec 30, 2013 at 5:50am PST

You live together and there's nowhere to hide. Even if you didn't want people to know that you sing along to Knarls Barkley's 'Crazy' in a weird voice while you wash up, they're gonna. And truth is, they'll probably find it hilarious and love that you're a bit bonkers, because they are too. Before you know it, you'll be making up dance routines to the Pokemon theme tune in the kitchen, and hiding under one another's beds together. They're really random and bizarre memories that you'll look back on thinking 'WTF?!', but you love and cherish them oh-so-much.

11.) Creating a spectrum of new concoctions at pre-drinks

You always end up with half bottles of spirits that guests have left over from the previous pre-drinks, so what better way to use them up by putting them all together in one big cauldron of mixers, and see what you come up with. Some will be successful - Fruit Twist Fanta and gin - and some, not so much - sambuca with...anything. Ever. 

12.) Going out on a weeknight on a budget of £5

Student nights means student prices. Everyone will try and lure you in with their special offers they've got going on (and sometimes even carry you over their shoulder in order to get you to their dead empty club...) But, rejoice! This means after a fiver and a couple of drinks, you'll think you're Sasha Fierce strutting you're stuff in the club, when in reality, you're quite drunk and probably look like Betty Spaghetti falling over. Ah, the high life.

13.) Crawling into one another's bed unexpectedly is completely acceptable

 When you're upset/hungover/stressed/all of the above, you can run upstairs, knock on your housemate's door and climb into their bed and vent or cry your little heart out, no questions asked.

14.) You always have friends there 24/7 

You can literally run across the hall to your roommate when your freaking out cause youe ex has crept back into your life unexpectedly, or crawl up the stairs to them as a hot mess when you're hungover. They'll make you tea when you're sad, cook you pancakes when you're happy, post pictures and sprinkle confetti all over the house when it's your birthday, make sure you've not fallen into the bathtub at 4am when you're drunk, make sure you're up for uni at an ungodly hour, dye your hair for you, and just be there for you. You're just surrounded by these people who are pretty damn great!
You grow with them, You learn with them. You live with your friends and they become you're home. 

It's a fucking fantastic time. 

What do you miss about your uni time?

Stay happy!

Until next time...

A.x

The Good of being Sad

As I type this, I'm trying to catch my breath as a sniffling hot mess, with tears rolling down my face.

I'm upset. And that's ok.

Ask anyone, and they'll say I'm a pretty happy-go-lucky and optimistic person. Imagine a kangaroo in Disneyland - that's me. 

I've also know and constantly remind myself how fortunate I am and my life is. I've got a roof over my head, friends and family who support me emotionally and financially, and more clothes than a 6-year-old's Barbie doll.

But sometimes you just feel down in life, and being and staying upbeat when you're not feeling like that, can take it's toll. 

To be honest, I don't think January Blues are helping either.

My dad isn't one to always show his emotions or when he's upset, and growing up, if I were to shed a tear or two, I would instantly be told to stop it, or asked what on earth I was crying about. And to be fair, I am an absolute sucker when it comes to soppy heartfelt movies and I wasn't very good at being in control of my emotions when I was a hormonal teenager with a long-distance boyfriend.
But I'm quite the opposite to my dad- if I think you're great, you'll receive limitless hugs to show it, and you don't even want to see the state I get in when I watch the first 15 minutes of 'Up'.

Having my head screwed on a bit more now though, tears are a rarer occasion, but dear lord, these past couple of days they've crept up on me, and today, I've just burst out into tears for no logical reason.
And I've come to realized that that's fine. 

If you're feeling shit, then dear god, let yourself feel shit.

Showing emotions doesn't mean you're weak, it means you care. And crying doesn't mean you've failed, it means you're human.

(WARNING: going to get all philosophical and soppy on your asses)

Life is a fucking weird, wonderful and bumpy ride with a endless spectrum of emotions. So with the hysterical laughter fits, there's gotta be some sob fests in there too, otherwise how would you appreciate the amazing-ness of all the good bits?

There's not really a purpose to this post. I'm not writing this so that people can pity me, but I'm writing it because sometimes a good ol' cry can do you the world of good, and you shouldn't be ashamed of it. And people should know that and not be ashamed of it.

But my god I'm not going to wallow in it. I've stopped off at the sobbing station and have sat down there for a coffee, but I'm not renting out a B&B for a week there. After I've finished my coffee, I'm putting on my kicks - yes I said kicks - and continuing on my run into the sunset. 

(What on earth is this analogy I've come up with).

Let those tears flow, have a cup of tea, or a G&T or two, and then fix up and carry on as the sparkly, fantastic person that you are.

Stay happy! - or not, stay whatever you're goddamn feeling.
Until next time,
A.x