16 Unrealistic Expectations as a Disney Princess Wannabe

I am a total Disney-loving nut.

No, I don't have a tramp stamp of Tinkerbell tattooed on me, nor do I have any desire to get married dressed as Minnie Mouse. But I do still watch and genuinely enjoy Disney films as a grown adult - and often find them even funnier when I catch onto lil' jokes I missed as a kid that they included for parents  (cheeky one Disney) - and sleep in pyjamas that have The Little Mermaid on.

Heck. I've even dressed up as my fave Disney Princesses at every possible fancy dress opportunity.

And yes, I know that Disney isn't all sunshine and sing-a-longs as it makes it out to be - I wrote a whole 10,000 dissertation on the whole blooming thing.

But things have moved on - Elsa and Anna have been taking over the world ever since the question 'Do You Want to Build a Snowman?' was uttered.

And  the thing is, they're magical. They make me think, feel, and believe ANYTHING is possible. And hey, in a world where we're constantly bombarded with depressing shit and utter chaos going on in the world to make even Mickey Mouse lose his faith in humanity, isn't a bit of magic to escape to just what we need?

Ever since I was little, I've wanted to be a Disney Princess - and still kinda do now. Ahem.
(Like you would say no if you were asked. Pft.)

But as time's gone on, I've realised that some things in the life of a DP, ain't all it's cracked up to be....

1.) Brushing your hair with a dinglehopper isn't magical and only ends in tangles and tear.

Leaving 6-year-old Amy having to have a fork wrestled out of her hair by her dad.

2.) In fact, ALL of the unrealistic hair envy.

Ariel's hair's so big because it's full of secrets - LIKE SECRETS TO HER BOUNCY HAIR.

3.) Not enough extensions and backcombing in the world would get your hair as volumious as Jasmine's pony tail.

I'll just settle for the gemstone headband and tiered hair ties I think, cheers.

4.) Top knots definitely don't work out like this when I pile my hair on top of my head.

Mulan? More like Mu-can't.

5.) And don't even get me started on Elsa's plait.

Girl must be packing some serious hairspray to keep those fly-aways at bay.

6.) Housework is never this much fun.

In reality, it's just me in my joggers, getting sweaty and swearing.

7.) Even Mary Berry can't cut off the pastry crust off a pie this casually.

Nevermind doing so balancing it on one hand and spinning it in the air willy-nilly.

8.) And sifting icing sugar without it looking like you've journeyed through a snowstorm?!

Who are you kidding Tiana.

9.) Rodents won't make a fancy ballgown for you.

If my fashion degree taught me anything, it's that it also involves pins pricking your fingers, loose threads stuck to you, and a lot of swearing.

10.) In fact, animal sidekicks in general can't do jack shit.

Meeko's hair salon? Yeah right - I'd just be happy if I could teach a puppy to sit.

11.) No-one is ever this quick when they're getting ready to get turnt up on the dancefloor. Not even The Flash I tell ya.

Fairy godmother, where art thou?

12.) Unlike that smart cookie Rapunzel, the smoulder can really fool you.

And although they may be charming, unlike the films, they most likely aren't gonna be your Prince Charming - and that's coming from someone who's dated someone who looks like Flynn Ryder with matchable smoulder.

13.) Eyeliner does not go on this smoothly and swiftly. Nop, nop, noppity-no.

The life of a eyeliner-flick-obsessed girl is a tough one. Symmetry is a bitch.

14.) And it sure as hell isn't this easy to fix up your make-up after getting a bit emosh listening to Adele.

"What? No, these aren't tears. I'M JUST ALLERGIC TO AIR."

15.) And if one was to accidentally fall asleep in their make-up, they DEFINITELY would not look this flawless.

Less Sleeping Beauty, more sleeping mascara smudges.

16.) Ribbon bows alone can't tie and keep up a ponytail. Take it from a seasonal ribbon wearer.

You ain't fooling anyone Belle.

But if it's one thing that is bang-on accurate, is that I wake up exactly like this...

Soz Quen Bey, but Anna's got this one nailed here.

Stay happy!

Until next time...

A.x

Tiny, Tooney, & a lil' Looney

Lately, I've been re-living and indulging in my childhood. One of my closest friends is having a fancy dress knees-up for her 21st, and the theme is childhood heroes, so I've been casting my mind back to who I had posters up on my wall as a kid, and pretended to be at playtime, and it just so happens that most of them have been fictional cartoon characters.

With Disney playing a big part of my childhood, and I've no doubt, many others, there was bound to be a few characters from the Disney world that popped up in my mind.

Everyone automatically said I should go as Mulan, now, she is pretty badass, with her samurai sword in hand, owning all the bad guys, but as a kid, I was a bit scared by all her fighting and jut wanted her stay in her pretty geisha make-up...oh how my views have changed!

I've also always love Princess Jasmine, Aladdin was and is one of my favourite movies (with Robin Williams portrayal of the genie playing a big part in this!). Jasmine is feisty, stands up for what she believes in, is adventurous and has the hottest damn ponytail in the whole of the magical kingdom.

While going through options in my head, and moving out the Disney territory, I delved into the gaming area of my memory.

Street Fighter was one favourite games, and every time, no fail, I picked Chun-Li. Not only was she one of the few girls in the game, but she also threw the most awesome high-kicks from those ass-kicking thighs. 

Another girl who kicked ass: Wonder Woman. 

I don't think it's any secret that I love her and think she's pretty bad-ass and hot, but in I didn't really know about her in my childhood, so, I think I'd be kind of cheating the 6-year old Amy within me.

Along the same vein of anime as Chun-Li, I used to watch hours upon hours of Sailor Moon on a Saturday morning in my pjs. 

I thought they all had the coolest outfits and had complete hair envy, so much so that I used to pretend to transform into them while spinning and twirling around in my living room. It wasn't so much Sailor Moon herself, but some of the others, especially Sailor Mars, Venus, and Neptune and their majestic locks.

With all these awesome women though, among them, there is also Penelope Pitstop. Now, this is the girly part of me speaking, but I just loved all the pink and thought she had the most amazing car! Hello?! A device that comes out of your car and applies your lipstick for you?! Not gonna lie, I thought that was some Jetson-like, futuristic cool stuff going on there!

And last, but not least, Lola Bunny.

Growing up watching Looney Tunes and always rolling around laughing at Bugs Bunny and his sarcastic humour, Space Jam was one of my favourite movies as a kid, and still is for nostalgia factor. I just remember watching the film and seeing this cute bunny walk in and absolutely annihilate everyone on the basketball court and thinking 'wow, she's cool...can I be her please?!' 

While looking at images for all these, I found out there's been a new, recent version made of The Looney Tunes show, which led to me being a big kid and watching a few episodes and getting trapped in the cartoon corner of Youtube as I indulged in watching some old cartoons that I remember from my childhood

Who was your childhood hero? And who do you think I should go as?! (I really need help deciding!)

Hope you're all well,
Speak soon,
A.x