11 reasons to swipe the hell left on Tinder

Once upon a time, I was swiping left and right on my phone like nobody's business

There were cute boys to chat to, who were saying silly-nice things to me until I resembled the blushing face emoji…what’s not to be on board with eh?

But sadly, the Tinder fairytale wasn’t meant to be. After deleting and re-downloading the app more times than a reality tv star promotes their workout DVD - usually when I’ve ran out of memory on my camera roll and then when I’m feeling hungover and needy on a rainy Sunday - I decided to banish it out of my life once and for all at the end of summer last year.
 (well, apart from logging in again for these screenshots - research and all)

And it’s not surprising to see why…

1.) Same shit, different day

Yeah, sliding your thumb from side-to-side is pretty easy and fun at times. But when you’re on a packed train and have stayed working late, the last thing on my mind is typing out one meaningless small talk after another, which took 20 left-swiped creeps to get to.


2.) It can be cringe-central

As someone who loves nothing more than a good pun, a cheesy line sadly does make me laugh more than it should but...even for a punster like me, there's a limit. Sometimes, it's just all too gouda to be true...

3.) Sometimes it's like talking to a robot

Hi, no I don't know what a girl like me is doing in a place like this, and yes I do like to have a fun time (you mean going roller-skating right?). I have a feeling that a strong case of copy and pasting is in use here.

4.) Sometimes it's racially questionable

I meannn.... Thanks? I think?

5.) Sometimes people are straight to the point



Short and sweet eh?

6.) And sometimes people are just looking for one thing (surprise surprise)


Well...at least they know what they're there for?! I’m don't have a fucking clue: A pretty face or a pretty decent conversation?! I get my ego stroked for a good while before feeling just a bit empty gonna be honest.

7.) It goes nowhere 

Might as well be on MSN and asking "wuu2?...nm, u?", while in my head, screaming 'WHY HAVEN'T YOU ASKED TO ACTUALLY MEET ME YET'


8.) You’re guilt-tripped for not wanting it to go anywhere

Sometimes, a handsome face lures you in, but the chat just isn't quite your cup of tea, which y'know, HAPPENS. Cus that's life. So you politely decline instead of lying or ghosting them (the absolute worst FYI). And for your honesty, you're met with cries of "WTF"', "are you serious" and "c'mon it's only fair".


9.) You’re constantly checking your phone

"Sorry, you were telling me about your day but I wasn't paying attention cus I was seeing if Tom the photographer who's 10 km away with the piercing green eyes has messaged me back."

10.) You’ve always got a low battery

As if liking photos on Instagram and Snapchatting your Friday night dancing along to Destiny’s Child didn’t drain your battery enough.

11.) You miss out on real life

Yep. I've been guilty of checking my phone more than I should, but it never got in the way and replaced my actual life. I’ve been out before at clubs, pubs, parties, get-togethers, and seen people just swiping away on their phones at the bar or in the corner on their own, away from all the interaction and people who are physically there. And that just makes me feel a bit sad y’know?

I’ve fallen in love with First Dates (along with the rest of the country) and as well as the show making me feel all smushy and in love with love, one of my biggest irks about it is when people appear on and have a whole tick-list of what they want in their perfect partner. Not to put a downer on things, but, aren’t you kinda setting yourself up for disappointment?

Going into a first date with an open-mind and open-heart is the only way to go...no?! And yeah, it might not go well or include more than it's fair share of awkward silences, but that’s OK!
(How else are you going to fill that autobiography of yours with fun anecdotes?)


My read at the moment is the always-funny Aziz Ansari’s Modern Romance, and he’s hit the nail on the head with how I feel about about this who Tinder malarky:

“I would rather put myself in those social situations than get exhausted…While we may think we know what we want, we're often wrong.
There's not a dating service on this planet that can do what the human brain can do in terms of finding the right person."

TRUTH.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against Tinder or any dating app - I went on some dates, met some nice people that I got on with from it, and have friends who are in kickass relationships from it - and I hope y’all have better luck or fun on it on your search for your Tinderella or whatever it is you're on there for.

 But for me? Afraid I'm swiping left on it - I’m having a whale of a time with the fun and cringe of my real life.

Until next time...

Stay happy!

A.x

"You're not a feminist - You don't look like one!"

I got really riled up the other day when a car reversed into the back of mine. And it wasn't because he scratched or dented it.

There's a term that my friend Kim coined once when I was telling her about all the times that people didn't take me seriously because of the purple ribbon tied in my hair, or because I'm on a phone that has bunny ears on.

'Elle Woods syndrome'

If you've seen Legally Blonde (and why wouldn't you have - it's amazing), you'll know what I mean. When people don't take you or your opinion seriously as a grown-up, because in their eyes, you don't look like one.

Let my homegirl Zooey Deschanel explain it to you as she best knows how...

When she said this in New Girl, I practically jumped out of my chair in agreement.

There's been so many times that I've been spoken down to because of my appearance and way I dress. A flatmate of mine once laughed straight at the fact that I called myself a feminist, because - and I quote - I didn't look like one. Apart from not knowing what that actually mean (how is a feminist even supposed to look?...), it's also ignorant and offensive to females and feminists everywhere. 

Feminist or Feminine. 

That isn't a choice that has to be made - why can't you be both?

But this incident really took the biscuit. I went to the supermarket, and as my dad toddled inside to get some milk and other bits and bobs (Elle magazine, chocolate, wine - you know, the essentials), and I sat in the car, all parked up, and waited. And while I was sat there, waiting in my stationary, parked car,all of a sudden there was a big crash sound and I felt a bump. A guy hadn't looked properly while he was reversing, and hit my car. So I got out to check my car and speak to him - like anyone else would do (and also thought to myself, what on earth he was playing at - was he not looking?!)

He just kept telling me how I was making it into a bigger deal than it actually was and that I was over-reacting. The car was fine, but I wanted to take his details in case something came up later on, but he just made me feel like I was being a drama queen!

"Oh, it's nothing really! You should stop worrying - trust me! You don't need my details!"

The way he was talking to me was like I was a useless, little girl, who didn't know my left from my right. He was even getting back into his car while he was saying all this. But then, when my dad came back to the car, the gentleman in question all of a sudden was a whole different person, being super apologetic.

"I am SO sorry. Are you sure everything's OK with your car? Have a proper look - I'd hate for you to drive off and then find something wrong."

I was stunned. 

He would've trusted my dad, who - no offence to my clever and delightful darling dad - is elderly, prone to forget things, English is his 2nd language, and can't even hear my when I say 'Good Morning' to him, rather than talking to a young woman who is socially engaged, studying a Masters degree and does actually know what she's talking about, despite what he thought.

My dad got into the car and I vented all the way home. And when I questioned how I just didn't understand why he did then, even he jokingly replied "Well, you are wearing a dress with hearts on it!"

It just makes me angry and disappointed because it's so ridiculous in this day and age, that people still judge others on their sex, and even more silly, on what they wear! 

Because that's exactly wheat that guy did - he saw that I was a girl. A female. One that didn't dress 'serious' enough, and just assumed that I didn't know anything, and swept me to the side as a silly, little girl who couldn't have dealt with the situation until a male came along.

And in 2014, that just isn't right.

Hope you're all well,

Speak soon.

A.x

Who's That Girl?....It's Amy!

I'm a massive fan of the tv show 'New Girl'.

I think the personalities of all the different characters are all so loveable and funny, and work together brilliantly, with my personal favourites being Nick and Schmidt. But of course, without Zooey Deshanel in it, I think it might be a completely different story. I'd liked her in different roles in films before, but this show made me fall in love, with her portrayal of the kooky and cute Jessica Day, the fringe, and the clothes (gonna be honest, her hair pushed me over the edge from 'umm-ing' and 'ahh-ing', and made me go for the chop and get my fringe cut before!)

I love Zooey's style anyway, but as Jessica Day in 'New Girl', all her cute tea-dresses and bright colours make me to just want to play dress up with all the contents of my wardobe.

I even love the loft that they all live in! Look how cute her room and all the decor is!

Thankfully, bright colours and tea dresses are my bread and butter, so with the summer sun still peeping through, I stepped out in this cute lil' number, and dreamed of Venice.

dress: New Look, bag: Laura Ashley, shoes: Carvela

Tea dresses and I get on like a house on fire. They just fit me perfectly, just how I like dresses to. Cinching me in at my waist nd skimming over my hips into a full-blown skirt that I can twirl around in.

The print of the dress just had me at 'Hello'. I love everything Italian, especially Venice, and I feel even more utterly in love with the city when I went, so when I saw the watercolours and sketches of the Venice scenes of canals and streets, I had to take it home to live in my wardrobe and be loved.

With me being a magpie for all things cute, this wicker handbag just went hand -in-hand.

I love the red trimmings, the polka dot lining, and how it feels like I'm going off on a frolic to a picnic whenever I'm carrying it on my arm!

Tea-dresses are so versatile, not only being perfect for this perfect summer's day, but I dug out this old outfit post from my tumblr, where I'e got the same baby on in autumn. Teamed up with a candy-coloured, bright blue cardigan, and the necessities of tights and boots, and with my hair half put up, it's even more of a 'New Girl' look!

While I've been off on summer, I've been re-watching 'New Girl' from the beginning, and in one episode, something she said really stuck with me. While being basically taken the mick out of from another girl, she let out this big and hilairous speech, which made me shout out 'YES!; in agreement with almost every statement.

A few times in my life, I feel like I haven't been taken seriously because of how I dress or because I studied Fashion, and this quote just made me laugh and agree with it so much. 

Just like Jessica Day, just because I rock ribbons in my hair, bake cookies to cheer people up, and that my wardrobe and world is a palette of a pastel-coloured, sparkly haze, that does not mean that I'm not smart, shouldn't be taken seriously, or can't stand up for myself!

What do you think of this little quote? And are you a fan of 'New Girl'?

Hope you're all well,

Speak soon,

A.x